In MOS it's made clear that helping people is what Clark wants to do, not something that is forced on him.
Before he meets Jor-Els hologram he is using his powers to help people, and it's not because the Kents told him to do it either. It's his own choice.
His reluctance to go public isn't because he doesn't want to, but because he's worried it might do more harm than good.
I agree that the Superman in MOS and BVS isn't a great example of a power fantasy, his life isn't easy, but that doesn't mean it isn't inspiring. They show him struggling with difficult moral questions, that just wanting to do go and believing in yourself isn't enough. They show that we need to careful consider of the consequences of our actions, that we need to seek out alternative viewpoints and be open to the possibility that we might in the wrong.
They aren't fun examples of escapism, these films seek to show that just having power doesn't solve problems, you need to be thoughtful and careful about how you wield it.
I think they are far more useful stories because of that.
