Comics I was bored last year

[crivelliman]

Just found a copy of an old conspiracy theory that connected a crucial lynch-pin in Secret Invasion and One More Day. Only two things wrong with my theory:

1. It was way too intricate.
2. It didn't happen.

I thought I'd share it on here, since people dig alternate ideas for what happens in continuity around these parts.

I want to stipulate that a) this was written even before Secret Invasion #1 came out (I think it was even before the Skrull Queen reveal, actually), b) I knew that it wasn't going to happen, and c) I'm not using it to complain about OMD or BND. I was simply playing with clues that weren't there, and concocting a really wacky "six degrees of separation" kind of thing. Hope you dig.

All right, here we go:

In 1998, there was a story in which Captain America and Iron Man used an A.I.M. satellite to make everyone in the world forget Iron Man was Tony Stark. A.I.M. has ties to Hydra and S.H.I.E.L.D., and Nick Fury is knowledgeable about nearly all of it, including A.I.M.'s notorious operations.

Infiltrated Skrulls, using their established connections within S.H.I.E.L.D. and Hydra, catch wind of this and other projects created and originated by A.I.M., including the Super-Adaptoid. In Bendis’ own books, we’ve seen A.I.M. scientists performing surgery on Jessica Drew for her spider powers, and the second Black Widow’s transformation to the second Super-Adaptoid. It is here where the Skrulls infiltrate A.I.M.

Having infiltrated nearly all areas of world government/organizations, the Skrulls required the deposing of Doctor Doom, who may become a political liability in the future Skrull regime. Using their connections as a top official within the US Government, the Skrulls oust Doc Doom and replace him with one of their own: Lucia Von Bardas.

Using her newfound leadership position, she assists her Empire in operations that include funding super-powered criminals through the Tinkerer, resulting in the eventual "Secret War." Nick Fury catches wind of this plan and attempts to notify this top-ranking US official (in all probability, the President himself). In what appears to be an act of weakness, the President attempts to avoid a political fiasco. In actuality, the Skrull acting as the President means to protect the Empire's recently-established interests in Latveria.

Nick Fury takes members of the superhero community and goes against the orders of the United States, toppling the Latverian government (once again), now dethroning Prime Minister Lucia Von Bardas. It is here where we find ourselves at a critical juncture point.

Fury brainwashes his team-members (save Black Widow and “Quake”) and sends them on their way. The only member who remembers anything close to the happenings without S.H.I.E.L.D. clearance is Spider-Man, who for reasons yet unexplained, has flashes in his memory which depict some of the events during the Secret War. Everything goes to hell, and Lucia Von Bardas is “shut down,” and her condition still remains unknown. She was believed dead, but we saw no body (and nothing to revert back to). Almost immediately after this, Nick Fury goes underground.

While all this is pretty interesting and leads to some great questions about the Skrull Infiltration, I will now propose an entirely new theory, which I am 99.99% certain is NOT what they’re going to do (but nonetheless, it’s fun being a conspiracy theorist). It requires some leaps and speculation, but come along for the ride.

Spider-Man’s One More Day story is a Skrull plot. Why? What do the Skrulls give two ****s about some teacher from Queens who punches purse-snatchers and bad guys dressed like pokemon? I’ll get to that.

Aunt May is shot during the Superhero Civil War. She goes into a coma and the prognosis does not look good. This much is true. Also, neither Spider-Man nor Mary Jane is a Skrull.

During the unfortunate circumstances surrounding the incapacitation of Aunt May, a “miracle” comes out of nowhere in the form of the shape-shifting malevolent demon Mephisto. He gives the Parkers a sadistic choice, and offers Spider-Man a trade that is nothing short of baffling, when you consider the character making the offer. I submit to you that Mephisto is a Skrull, and the choice is merely a diversion to get rid of Mary Jane. Why? I’ll get to that in just a second.

Spider-Man takes the bait, Mary Jane surprisingly jumps first, and everything changes. Aunt May’s house is back. Aunt May herself, is back. Mary Jane is gone, and nobody remembers Peter Parker is Spider-Man. Furthermore, Harry Osborn is back from the dead and nobody at all seems the least bit surprised.

It is my theory that Spider-Man gleaned something especially important/vital to the overall Skrull plot during the Secret War. We have no idea exactly how long they were in Latveria, or what even happened during the first fight which ultimately (and literally) brought the house down. As we’ve seen from Bendis’ House of M, Spider-Man is also a bit of a wanderer. I’m guessing Spider-Man found out more than he bargained for, and the Skrulls ultimately discovered this. However, through their connections with S.H.I.E.L.D., they also knew he was due for a memory wipe anyway, so live and let live. Secret’s safe.

But Spider-Man remembers. Or at least, some aspect about Parker they didn’t count on caused him to retain certain aspects of his memory from the events in question. They needed to know how much he remembered, because he could blow the lid off the whole operation if he remembered.

Then he fell in with Tony Stark, who was too well guarded. Plus, he got a new suit which feeds information directly to Stark. Since they couldn’t replace Stark, they couldn’t risk tampering with the genuine Spider-Man for fear of being discovered. So they watched and waited. As long as he stayed with Stark and kept consistent, they could monitor him from afar (or nearby, through other agents) without too much trouble.

Then Spider-Man did something else they didn’t expect: he revealed his secret identity. Suddenly he was fair game for any nutjob who wanted a piece of him. This had to stop. Too many variables for the Skrulls, who at this point we can all agree, are pretty meticulous and hate things being out of their control. So they concocted a scheme to keep Spider-Man under wraps, keep him off everyone’s radar, and get an agent or two nice and close to the guy, just to make sure certain aspects of his unique (and yet-unknown) physiology didn’t overwrite their memory wipe. They could put the genie back in the bottle pretty easily. After all, they’ve infiltrated world governments, peacekeeping task forces. They can watch one guy with a penchant for complaining. Plus, with their connections to A.I.M., they have a world-wide memory-wiping machine.

Enter Mephisto. Wham-bam, thank you ma’am, Spidey (and the world, for that matter) is practically reset. He doesn’t remember MJ (the x-factor, the one person who practically never left his side who might just **** everything up in some way they can’t foresee), he sure as hell doesn’t remember what happened in the Secret War, his Aunt May is back (and is in miraculously good health, and interested in politics all-of-a-sudden). And an added bonus: for no reason at all, his best buddy in the whole wide world is back from the dead and interested in hanging out.

With no wife, he’s basically alone, with no consistent influence over his thoughts, feelings and ideas. A best friend is a pretty great cover-up for someone interested in keeping tabs on somebody. “No problem,” the Skrulls can report. “The secret is ****ing buried under two memory wipes and the guy’s own paralyzing neurosis. But just in case that spider-sense (or whatever it is about him) kicks in, we’ll be there to finish the job.”

So there you have it. Spidey’s got some big super-secret Skrull plot stored away in his noggin, or some Invasion-blowing secret, and the Skrulls need to keep him under wraps without taking him out, unless absolutely necessary. Why? Maybe the info is crucial, or maybe he found something out that they didn’t figure out. Bendis does like a smart Spidey. Could be anything, really. Until, of course, the Secret Invasion finally hits.

There you have it. “Status-quo” for Spidey is restored for the marriage-haters, continuity for the No-Prizers. The fans get a few interesting stories out of the deal, and everything’s back to the way it was around 2003 by summertime.

Or not.

 

[Hobgoblin]

Too much reading. Can you sum it up?

 

[Kirk Langstrom]

Just found a copy of an old conspiracy theory that connected a crucial lynch-pin in Secret Invasion and One More Day. Only two things wrong with my theory:

1. It was way too intricate.
2. It didn't happen.

I thought I'd share it on here, since people dig alternate ideas for what happens in continuity around these parts.

I want to stipulate that a) this was written even before Secret Invasion #1 came out (I think it was even before the Skrull Queen reveal, actually), b) I knew that it wasn't going to happen, and c) I'm not using it to complain about OMD or BND. I was simply playing with clues that weren't there, and concocting a really wacky "six degrees of separation" kind of thing. Hope you dig.

All right, here we go:

Why wouldn't they just replace Peter with a Skrull, like they did several OTHER heroes...?

 

[crivelliman]

Too much reading. Can you sum it up?

Sorry.

Why wouldn't they just replace Peter with a Skrull, like they did several OTHER heroes...?

The same reason they didn't replace Captain America, Iron Man, Luke Cage, Daredevil, Jessica Jones, Ms Marvel, Moon Knight, or the other dozen and a half superheroes that would have been more appropriate than Spider Woman?

Or maybe because they once tried to replace Spider-Man with a clone, which led to major fan backlash, and they tried to imagine the reaction if Spider-Man the fans were reading in their regular books (appearing in three titles, at least, at that time) was not real, again?

Then again, as I tried to say in my extremely lengthy post, I was kind of just sharing a theory that was invalidated by any number of circumstances long before I posted it. Just shooting the breeze, so to speak.

 

[Kirk Langstrom]

Sorry.



The same reason they didn't replace Captain America, Iron Man, Luke Cage, Daredevil, Jessica Jones, Ms Marvel, Moon Knight, or the other dozen and a half superheroes that would have been more appropriate than Spider Woman?

Or maybe because they once tried to replace Spider-Man with a clone, which led to major fan backlash, and they tried to imagine the reaction if Spider-Man the fans were reading in their regular books (appearing in three titles, at least, at that time) was not real, again?

Then again, as I tried to say in my extremely lengthy post, I was kind of just sharing a theory that was invalidated by any number of circumstances long before I posted it. Just shooting the breeze, so to speak.

They didnt replace none of those characters because they offered nothing strategical to their plans and they were using Iron Man to divide the heroes with Civil War...

If they felt Peter was a threat im sure he would have been captured, or at least they would have tried...