My Scripted 'Captain America' Trailer - Feedback Appreciated

[CFE]

I posted this in the Fan Fiction and Films Section, but I personally am too proud of it not to put it up in here (at least for awhile mods...please?) so all of you guys would have a potentially better chance of reading and seeing it:

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If I had the time and budget to shoot this, I'd do it in a heartbeat.

Anyway, here's the scripted version of my idea for a potential trailer to "Captain America" :

NOTE: The entire trailer was written to be accompanied with David Arnold's main title to Roland Emmerich's "GODZILLA." I'll mark times as indicated to deliver a more well rounded presentation of how the trailer would flow:

[YT]aKthbr35fto[/YT]

CAPTAIN AMERICA
Theatrical Trailer
Total Running Time: 2 minutes 43 seconds.

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FADE IN:

EXT: PEARL HARBOR - DAY (00:00 - 00:16)

A fleet of United States Naval Carriers rests at base in Pearl Harbor.

BEAT (00:17)

Suddenly, an explosion rips through the hull of one of the ships.

CUT TO:

PEARL HARBOR MONTAGE: (00:18 - 00:24)

A barrage of shots showcasing the devastating attack on Pearl Harbor by the Axis powers during World War II.

NAVAL OFFICER 1:
Attack, We're under attack!​

Flash cuts of chaos.

CUT TO: (00:25 - 00:28)

Suddenly, a young Naval Officer huddled in a corner, bloodied as bombs fall outside looks up to see an ominous figure standing before him.

US INTELLIGENCE (V.O.):
Tell us what you saw...​

As the Intel speaks, a tape recorder is switched on.

FADE TO BLACK: (00:29)

WOUNDED NAVAL OFFICER (O.S.):
It looked like a man...it spoke German but...​

FADE IN:

INT: - HOSPITAL ROOM - DAY (00:30)

The Officer, wounded and bandaged in bloody wrappings, twitches in a hospital bed. He looks up.

WOUNDED NAVAL OFFICER:
It had no face...​

FLASH CUT: (00:36)

Instantaneous cuts of a crimson Skull...close up.

FLASH CUT TO: (00:37)

The "MARVEL STUDIOS" logo...

FADE TO:

EXT: - THE PENTAGON (00:39 - 00:44)

US GENERAL (O.S.):
On December 7th, a United States Military Installation stationed at Pearl Harbor was attacked by an unforeseen Axis Division.​

CUT TO:

INT: - THE PENTAGON (00:45)

The General stands at a podium as he gives a press conference to the media...the crest of the President of the United States positioned behind him.

US GENERAL (CONT.):
We have reason to believe that a German Bio Organic Weapon was used in the attack...​

FLASH CUT:

CU - Red Skull

FLASH CUT:

US GENERAL (CONT.):
For that reason we're holding this press conference to inform the nation that we now have our OWN Weapon...​

CUT TO: (00:54)

The General pulls a vial from his coat and raises it for all to see.

US GENERAL:
We're calling it "Super Soldier"...​

Flash Bulbs go off.

FLASH CUT TO:

EXT: - CENTRAL PARK - DAY (00:57)

Frail STEVE ROGERS stands with his girlfriend on a bridge in Central Park. She takes off her necklace, placing it in his hands.

GIRLFRIEND:
I'll wait for you...​

The two kiss as an American Flag waves behind them. The Sunshine gleaming...brightly...

FLASH CUT TO: (01:11)

We pan over lines upon lines of men dressed in hospital gowns down dank corridors. We eventually fall upon the first test subject, Steve as he sits strapped to a chair in a large room, lit by a lone, hot light from above. On a balcony above the main floor, several US Military personnel watch on.

CUT TO: (01:18)

Stave looks up as a man, PROFESSOR REINSTEIN, approaches.

STEVE ROGERS (O.S.):
Professor Reinstein...​

Steve nods as Reinstein begins the delivery process of the Serum:

SERUM MONTAGE:

In Three three-shot bursts we witness:

THREE SHOT 1: (01:22 - 01:24)
1: The Injection of a needle into Rogers' neck
2: The Checking of Rogers' Pulse
3: The Vita-Rays striking Rogers' Body

THREE SHOT 2: (01:25 - 01:28)
1: ECU - Steve's eye snapping open
2: Steve clenching his fist
3: Professor Reinstein and the Military Personnel looking on.

THREE SHOT 3: (01:29 - 01:32)
1: Steve's arm bulging, ripping through his sleeve.
2: A Heart Monitor going berserk from Steve's increasing heart rate.
3: Profile - Steve screaming (Slow Motion)

CUT TO BLACK: (01:33)

US GENERAL (O.S.):
On your order, Mr. President...
​

FADE IN: (01:35)

INT: - OVAL OFFICE - DAY

A pair of decorated GENERALS stand, holding their hats, looking on.

FADE OUT:

FADE IN: (01:37)

As the Generals stand off to the side, PRESIDENT FRANKLIN D. ROOSEVELT sits in his wheelchair, looking out the window and perfectly lit by a golden afternoon sun. A pipe hangs from his lips as smoke wafts into the air.

CUT TO: (01:40)

CU - ROOSEVELT

Refusing to break his eyeline from outside, the President takes a deep and concentrated breath.

PRESIDENT ROOSEVELT:
Send in the Captain...​

CUT TO: (01:44)

EXT: - WORLD WAR II BATTLEGROUND - DAY

Out from a low flying US copter, a lone, muscular figure silhouetted by the burning sun directly behind him leaps forth. Arms stretched to the side, one holding a large round object of sorts...his legs prefectly straight back as he takes a swan dive out of the chopper.

CUT TO: (01:48)

A group of Nazi Soldiers look into the sky, squinting from the sun as they rattle off to one another in hurried German, holding their firearms at the ready.

CUT TO: (01:51)

The figure falls before the Nazis, not even phased by the impact...while in turn the ground trembles with an imposing thud.

CUT TO: (01:53)

The Nazis start to back away in a mixture of fear and confusion as the figure, donned in Red, White and Blue begins to stand.

CUT TO: (01:55)

We tilt up as the figure stands, revealing himself to be CAPTAIN AMERICA...in all his glory. He cracks his neck once as he gets into a fighter's stance, pulling his shield forth.

CAPTIAN AMERICA:
Come get some...​

CUT TO:

FINALE MONTAGE: (01:57 - 02:25)

We receive a barrage of images:

1: Captain America fighting the group of Nazis
2: Captain America turns and hurls his sheild, letting it fly
3: In a burst of flame, The Red Skull stands before a pair of Nazi Flags bearing the Swastika.
4: Captain America Begins fighting a group of Nazi soldiers as we pull back...
5: James Buchanan Barnes races through a battleground in a jeep.
6: Captain America rides a motorcycle as a Nazi plane follows behind, trailing him in gunfire.
7: The group of Nazi's attacking Captain America grows as we continue to pull back...
8: Captain America races along the Beaches at Normandy holding up his shield alongside Allied Soldiers. Gunfire ricochets off the shield.
9: Baren Zemo stands on an outcrop barking orders to German Soldiers.
10: Captain America and the Red Skull fight one another...blow after blow after blow...
11: Captain America is revealed to be fighting hundreds of swarming Nazis...single handedly...as we continue to pull back even more...

FADE TO BLACK:

FADE IN:

CU - BETTY & BUCKY (02:26 - 02:28)

Reporter BETTY and Bucky Barnes look on...

FADE OUT:

FADE IN:

CU - RED SKULL (02:29 - 02:32)

The Red Skull looks into camera, folding his arms...

FADE OUT:

FADE IN:

MS - CAPTAIN AMERICA (02:33 - 02:36)

We pull back from Captain America as he stands looking into the sky. He swivels his head and looks down in Profile...holding his shield as smoke billows behind him...

US GENERAL (V.O.):
This Country is in debted to you, son...​

FADE TO BLACK:

FADE IN: (2:37)

"CAPTAIN AMERICA"​

The title, simple text rather than a glorified Red, White & Blue graphic, slowly zooms in as it fades into view...

BEAT

FADE OUT:

FADE IN: (02:43)

"SUMMER 2011"​

FADE TO BLACK:

END

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Let me know what you guys think!



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[jab1118]

Well written but way to much going on in there it should be much simpler. Plus I dont like the pearl harbor stuff why would red skull be at pearl harbor th japeese attcked there

 

[Hypestyle]

cool stuff... make sure to interject some voiceover dialogue from that late guy who always said "In a world where..."

 

[CFE]

Well written but way to much going on in there it should be much simpler. Plus I dont like the pearl harbor stuff why would red skull be at pearl harbor th japeese attcked there

Japan, Germany and Italy all fell under the Umbrella of the Axis...so I fail to see why Red Skull couldn't potentially be there

And there really isn't too much in there. Pearl Harbor, Operation: Rebirth and a typical trailer montage. I know 2:43's a bit hefty for a trailer...but it's all in the pacing IMO.

 

[Doctor Jones]

That sounded really great! I think it's great putting the film in a WWII setting. Than in the Avenger we can see his stuggles adjusting to working with a team from working alone in his glory days and working in the modern world. How it's changed around him.

 

[Congo Jack]

Why don't you try to "film" your trailer using scenes from comic books or when possible other movies edited together? It's not ideal, but you said yourself you don't have the budget so just a thought.

 

[CFE]

I just might do that...I don't see why not. Thanks Congo!

 

[Doctor Jones]

Yeah, actually that Godzilla music fit kinda well with the description. Luckily I think I managed to read it at the right points to match the music cue so that's what made it great.

 

[C. Lee]

Most of it sounds pretty good. Two things bother me though.

(1) I don't think you should have the Red Skull at Pearl Harbor.

(2) Although versions of helicopters existed at the time, I don't remember ever reading that they were used by the Allies in combat situations at that time. You need to investigate that point.

 

[BobJM]

Helicopters weren't officially used by the US military until Vietnam.

 

[RAMORE]

I thought paired with the score it was quite good I wouldn't have him say come get some though. Pearl harbor should be in the movie but no red skull there. I want old timey shield I think and cap definately has to storm the beach!

 

[Chris Wallace]

cool stuff... make sure to interject some voiceover dialogue from that late guy who always said "In a world where..."

Uh-uh.
And I agree about the Skull being at Pearl Harbor. He was pushing the German agenda & wouldn't have anything to do w/the Japanese, as he is a card-carrying racist.

 

[Superhero 101]

This is pretty good keep it up