Dating Issue - 17yo male/25yo female

[Erzengel]

i've got a 25 yr old friend who can't wait for the entrance of fresh fresher meat next year...and the year after that....

i guess everyone has their own moral views on the subject. In all honest, i feel there are 18 yr olds that are more mature than some 24-25 year olds, much more, it depends on the individual. i guess casting a general rule is what most people do but for the majority of social rules, there are exceptions and i feel that perhaps this boy may have been this woman's. When something takes you off guard like so, the whole contigency plan goes out of the window...

So what's the cutoff? What if it's a mature 16 or 17 year old? And it's a 22 year old teacher fresh out of school?

 

[PyroChamber]

Goddamn, do female teachers really have bad love lives where they have to date one of their students to be happy?

 

[November Rain]

So what's the cutoff? What if it's a mature 16 or 17 year old? And it's a 22 year old teacher fresh out of school?

as put in another post, that's pretty much what happened. a 22 yr old exchange teacher from canada came over to my place and had a relationship with one of the girls in the year below me making her around 17. I didn't see the fuss considering he was a sports teacher and never really took her for any subjects. they met and got it on in school and never made the drama, it was all kept decent for a long while and there was no proof of their relationship at any point.

I guess i've reached an age where i feel that the art of manipulation is not directly correlated to one's age rather than perhaps status and life experience which puts me in a better position than most. I don't see the difference between an eager 17 yr old or an eager 30 yr old woman.

i guess the cut off for me is not an age based one, rather a gut feeling i get of whether i'm genuinely taking advantage of someone or not, and not matter how old i am, if i feel that someone has invested too much into something and that i can get them to do things willingly based on blind devotion then that's my cut off point.

it comes down to strength of will in my book, probably why i'm attracted to battle axes/crazy bi-polar women that'll cut me up into lil pieces if i stepped out of line.

 

[Ultimate_Superman]

i've got a 25 yr old friend who can't wait for the entrance of fresh fresher meat next year...and the year after that....

That's what I love about these high school girls, man. I get older, they stay the same age.

 

[Erzengel]

as put in another post, that's pretty much what happened. a 22 yr old exchange teacher from canada came over to my place and had a relationship with one of the girls in the year below me making her around 17. I didn't see the fuss considering he was a sports teacher and never really took her for any subjects. they met and got it on in school and never made the drama, it was all kept decent for a long while and there was no proof of their relationship at any point.

I guess i've reached an age where i feel that the art of manipulation is not directly correlated to one's age rather than perhaps status and life experience which puts me in a better position than most. I don't see the difference between an eager 17 yr old or an eager 30 yr old woman.

i guess the cut off for me is not an age based one, rather a gut feeling i get of whether i'm genuinely taking advantage of someone or not, and not matter how old i am, if i feel that someone has invested too much into something and that i can get them to do things willingly based on blind devotion then that's my cut off point.

it comes down to strength of will in my book, probably why i'm attracted to battle axes/crazy bi-polar women that'll cut me up into lil pieces if i stepped out of line.

I guess what kinda bothers me is what these teachers are risking in order to continue a relationship with students. If they have some sort of connection, they can at least wait til the student is out of school.

 

[November Rain]

but that's half the excitement, kinda like dating your friend's girlfriend behind their back?

to say none of these flings are taboo driven would be naiive, once the aspect of danger is removed, so are a lot of the cases (not all of them but alot).

even if they do wait there will always be people wondering when exactly the student/teacher relationship stopped and the relationship began. Invistigations will still omre than likely take place.

 

[Erzengel]

Oh I understand the allure but I think of this as a very black and white issue.

 

[November Rain]

have you ever seen it happen? perhaps it's why we are coming at this from different angles.

 

[Erzengel]

Not in high school. In college, yes but they were 19-20 year old students and honestly when I 24-25, a 16 then 17 year old wanted to have sex with me and I turned her down.

 

[November Rain]

was she hot?

in all honesty about 95% of the time i would have done the same thing but i wouldn't immediately judge anyone that did though.

 

[Oakley]

Remove the risk, you remove the thrill.

Nicely put, and entirely true

 

[Oakley]

have you ever seen it happen? perhaps it's why we are coming at this from different angles.

I knew a girl who was a senior in high school with me who was dating our calculus teacher. My sisters and I all knew girls who were dating this really old religion (haha) teacher at our school as well. Smartly for him, it never seemed to get out until after they graduated. He was also the women's golf coach, and he always seemed to date his players.

 

[Erzengel]

was she hot?

in all honesty about 95% of the time i would have done the same thing but i wouldn't immediately judge anyone that did though.

Well I'm putting mostly my personal opinions aside, I just think of the teacher is stupid for jeopardizing their livelyhood. This isn't a part time job, this is their career. I'm guessing this type of thing follows them to other schools so why risk it just for a thrill?

 

[November Rain]

there are plenty of risky things that happen in life, I may well be involved with one of them sooner or later if not already.

I think these situations occur when the teachers are at vulnerable stages and when they begin to weigh out the consequences in this stages the longtime losses start to not outweigh the quick gains. As long as people can't say they didn't know what they were getting into then that's fine.

still, she could deny it all, it's his word against hers in this story, one can side on the side of the teacher in a court of law stating that he's spreading rumours in order to gain respect from other students, as long as she has respectable character witnesses.

we'll see...

right i'm off, later and cheers for the chat earth angel.

 

[terry78]

It reminds me of the scenes in Mean Girls(yes, it's a clever movie, I confess it) where the two asian chicks are actually dating the slovenly health teacher, who constantly preaches to the kids about abstinence and getting VD. It was a comedy, but I don't doubt that **** goes on in some high schools.

 

[Mr.Webs]

My thoughts are this.
The boy is old enough. No crime was committed. I dont see a problem on the LAW aspect of this issue. Now, we have an ethics issue. The teacher should be fired. If the individual was NOT at her school, then I would see no problem. But he is at the same school, so she needs to pay.

What are your thoughts?

Generally, I'm in total agreement. I'm not sure if she should be fired, but this should not be taken lightly.

 

[D.Rex]

I understand that the law for teachers and students is to prevent an unfair advantages. But then if they have a law for this shouldn't they also have one in the workplace to prevent people using sex as a way to get a promotion or get higher up on the chain. It seems like they are both the same issue considering that in both situations you are dealing with legal adults. I just feel that the law (if you want it to exist at all) should applie to anyone that could use sex as an unfair advantage. Why should school be special.

 

[DBella]

I am 28 yo and my job is to brainwash children to conform and be part of the system. Anyway, it just seems (and feels) wrong for me to date a student. But then again, I am more attracted to older men anyway.

In my opinion, a teacher should NOT date a student. That's like fraternization in the military and should not be condoned or tolerated.

 

[Erzengel]

If I was 17 years old, I'd date DBella. I'm a hypocrite.

 

[DBella]

If I was 17 years old, I'd date DBella. I'm a hypocrite.

But would I date you?

 

[Erzengel]

Of course you would. I was gangly, awkward, and oily.

 

[Darthphere]

I am 28 yo and my job is to brainwash children to conform and be part of the system. Anyway, it just seems (and feels) wrong for me to date a student. But then again, I am more attracted to older men anyway.

In my opinion, a teacher should NOT date a student. That's like fraternization in the military and should not be condoned or tolerated.

Im old at heart.

 

[POWdER-man]

Johnny, I'm going to need to see you after class...

jag

It's like you're writing a note to Johnny....

 

[Ultimate_Superman]

But would I date you?

No you wouldn't date him but you would date me and have my babies.

 

[DBM]

You also have to remember how age of consent laws apply. Just because some is over the age of consent, but still a minor, doesn't mean that anyone over 18 can have sex with them.

In Indiana, where I live, the age of consent is 16 which most people interpret to mean that if you are over 18 you can still date someone if they are over 16. What the law actual say is that someone between the ages of 18 and 21 would still be ok if the person was over 16. If the one person is over 21, it is completely illegal to be with someone under 18 no matter if they are over the age of consent or not.

These laws are set up to address relationships for those people who fall just under/over the 18 year old minor limit, not legitimate adults who want to take advantage of minors.

The law this teacher falls under is really separate from the age of consent laws.