Comics Recap Of Spider-Man's Recent Exploits

[hippy fascist]

this thread is so emo

 

[Vic Von Doom]

KURTZ: The horror...the horror...

BTW, you forgot to mention:


* A Molten-Man knock-off (who apparently was such a nerd even Peter Parker picked on him in high school) was responsible for burning down Aunt May's house in Forest Hills.

I did not forget that!!! It's in there. Like 5 times people have pointed out things I "missed" that I didn't. I don't know why that bugs me. Heh-heh. Bug. Spider.

To Dangerous: USM is for lightweights?? Then what is ASM for, ******s with sticks?

 

[FreeRadical]

For those of you who may have missed it, I'll helpfully recap the recent adventures of our boy Spidey. Enjoy!

* The Green Goblin was revealed to have taken Gwen Stacy's virginity.

* She had his kids, then tried to keep them from him, which is why he killed her.

* Spider-Man was reverted to a Spider during Disassembled, only to emerge from a cocoon with organic webbing and the ability to talk to insects w/o the aid of Hank Pym's goofy helmet.

* Morlun was brought back with no explanation why and for no other reason than to kill Spider-Man so he could be brought back to life.

* Spider-Man turned into a gruesome beast that used arm stingers to paralyze Morlun, thereby making it easier for Spidey to eat his face.

* He then emerged reborn from a cocoon (again) , after a chat with the Spider inside him, telling him he is now more Spider than man. Or not.

* After a battle with the skin he shed when he died (no, really) , Spidey discovered his new stingers, and used his seeing-in-the-dark power and touching-things-and-feeling-vibrations power to save some people from a building.

* Iron Man built Spidey an Iron Spidey suit, because they're close buddies ever since Spidey joined the Avengers and moved into Avengers Tower with MJ and Aunt May, since her house got destroyed by the All-New Molten Man, Peter's former childhood friend who Uncle Ben knew was no good. Man, he was ALWAYS right except about the burglars he could mouth off to without getting shot.

* Aunt May is currently dating Jarvis, the butler.

* After a lifetime of doing everything in his power not to compromise his identity, thereby endangering everyone he loves, Spider-Man decides it will be a good idea to listen to Iron Man, who has zero loved ones, and reveal his identity on national television.

Plus we have another costume change on the way next year, the return of the Black suit of course, plus the inevitable return of good ol' red and blue, PLUS the major life-alterings Quesada promises during and after Civil War.

So there you have it. Boy...when you step back and look at it all like that...Marvel has really ****ed up Spider-Man pretty hardcore.

101 ways to degrade Gwen Stacy! A Marvel Handbook.

1. Kill her

2. Clone her

3. Clone her again

4. Retcon history, and let her lose her viginity to Norman Osborn

5. Twins!

I wonder how far Marvel will go.......

I wish the guy who's gonna retcon this stuff going on in 616 in the future luck.

 

[stillanerd]

I did not forget that!!! It's in there. Like 5 times people have pointed out things I "missed" that I didn't. I don't know why that bugs me. Heh-heh. Bug. Spider.

Geez I'm sorry okay! But you've got to admit that the ten year-old, but genetically twenty-something Sarah Stacy having the hots for Peter (who, again was originally going to be Peter's dad according to JMS before he came up with the "brillant idea" of having it be Norman) and the evil Uncle Ben from a parallel universe apparently sticking around for the long haul are some real humdingers that you did forget, so ha ha.

No seriously, my mistake. Maybe it was because there was so many bone-headed moves courtesy of Nu-Marvel in that list that I intentionally gave myself amnesia. Who needs retcons when you have that, right?

 

[Orko Is King]

I'm sure Gwen will be exumed and it will be determined that the twins are not hers...because Norman only anally raped her.

 

[Vic Von Doom]

Geez I'm sorry okay! But you've got to admit that the ten year-old, but genetically twenty-something Sarah Stacy having the hots for Peter (who, again was originally going to be Peter's dad according to JMS before he came up with the "brillant idea" of having it be Norman) and the evil Uncle Ben from a parallel universe apparently sticking around for the long haul are some real humdingers that you did forget, so ha ha.

No seriously, my mistake. Maybe it was because there was so many bone-headed moves courtesy of Nu-Marvel in that list that I intentionally gave myself amnesia. Who needs retcons when you have that, right?

You are mostly correct...I technically did forget about those, but I also (thankfully) didn't spend my money to read that crap, I just heard about it from others. But you are correct, that stuff is pretty bad too.

I despair. Marvel has ruined Spider-Man. Thank you Bendis, for at least giving us a readable Spidey in New Avengers and, although as of late I've been unhappy with it, a great book in USM. Never thought I'd say this, but the Clone Saga rocks!