If the Star Wars Prequels were done properly and how future sequels should go - Ep. I

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Check out my re imagining of the Star Wars prequels...
Sketch art by Nicholas Garza
Poster art by Gabriel Victor
written by Nic Rellek
http://madconceptz.blogspot.com/2014/07/if-star-wars-prequels-were-done.html


YAIRN - WE PAN DOWN FROM THE OPENING CRAWL AND FOLLOW A BEAT UP CARGO TRANSPORTER AS IT DESCENDS INTO THE PLANET'S ATMOSPHERE. The crew of five, including a tall blonde lanky seventeen year old young man, are joking among themselves about his chances of passing his machinist apprenticeship test. Something he's failed to do earlier even though his father passed the test on the first try and younger than the kid is. They talk reverently about his father who is a high ranking member of the Guild that controls the ore mining and processing business in the sector and contrast it with how the son is not like his father. Though he forces a smile, the kid doesn't find the teasing funny. The vessel docks and as they are unloading its cargo, a supervisor tells the kid that his father and the Guild leaders took a vote to reject the Separatists offer to join them in leaving the Republic. The teen's reply is almost indifferent to the galactic schism although he believes that a show of strength by the Senate would be a better response than endless debates and empty threats. They are almost done unloading the cargo when they hear a loud explosion in the distance and see a large plume of smoke rising from the buildings in the next town. The kid reacts instantly and jumps onto a parked speeder bike and heads for the town.

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Its mayhem as people are running and screaming from a large ore processing plant that's half destroyed (think 911). Arriving to the scene, the young man jumps off the bike and runs against the fleeing crowd to ground zero. Searching through the smoking wreckage he screams "Ma! Pa!" A trembling hand reaches out from under a pile of rubble and he frantically digs out the bloodied body of his mother. She weakly says his name.."Anny"..then says his father was killed in the explosion. She says she and his father love him and then she dies in his arms. He screams in anguish. WIPE TO...

QUI-GON JINN AND OBI-WAN KENOBI ARRIVE TO INVESTIGATE THE TERRORIST ATTACK. They suspect its by the Separatists and while questioning people, they run into that young man who introduces himself as Anakin Skywalker. He says that his father was a leader of the guild that was being harassed about joining the Separatists movement. Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan sense a strong force vibe from him (no midi-chlorian bs). Anakin asks what it takes to become a Jedi so that he can prevent attacks like the one that took his parents and after some back and forth they agree to take him to the Jedi Temple for testing and training. Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan continue their investigation and discover light saber burns on a murdered security team. Only a Jedi can handle that kind of weapon so expertly but no Jedi would do this. Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan are puzzled by this development. WIPE TO...

CORUSCANT - ANAKIN AT THE JEDI TEMPLE. When they arrive at the Temple, Anakin is super eager to get started and goes straight to the top and asks Grand Master Yoda himself to teach him the ways of the Jedi Knights and the Jedi elder tells him ready he is not. Yoda and Jedi Council speak with Qui-Gon in private and they confer. Things pretty much go the same way they did in the original where Yoda senses fear, anger and frustration in the young man plus he's too old but Qui-Gon says he has great potential and if properly trained could be a great asset to the Jedi Order. There is no "chosen one" legend. Qui-Gon says that Obi-Wan is ready for the trials and he'll take on Anakin as his Padawan. The Council reluctantly agrees and young Anakin starts his training...from the beginning.

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These scenes play out much like the kung fu movie The 36th Chamber of Shaolin and we see him grow and excel as a Padawan. Anakin, being a Force Sensitive, has always had visions but the images were fleeting and he didn't interpret that they were actual premonitions but rather some recurring dream like nonsense. As he grows in the Force and is able to control his abilities the visions become more distinct to him. There's a scene where he is sitting on the floor in the lotus position and meditating and seeing flashes of a pretty girl smiling/hearing a voice scream ANAKIN NO!/someone falling into an abyss/a demon attacking him. He talks about his dreams/visions to Qui-Gon who gives him cryptic responses about guarding against the Dark Side of the Force and destiny. Interspersed through out the training period are some light comedy moments of him fumbling and floundering trying to control different aspects of Force powers and some scenes of him dealing with his out bursts of emotion at times. Its in those moments that Obi-Wan helps him out and the two become fast friends. Through the dialog its indicated that Anakin's been training only half the time it normally takes and its clear that he is gifted, more so than every other Padawan there. Most of the elder Jedi are impressed with his progress but some are concerned about his control over his emotions.WIPE TO...

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also I'm looking to colloborate with fanfic artists for the other stories in the trology if anyone this interested hit me up at [email protected]

or

https://www.facebook.com/nic.rellek
 
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PLANET KIIRON - WE PAN LEFT AWAY FROM THE OPENING CRAWL AND SEE A SMALL STAR SHIP APPROACHING A BROWNISH-YELLOW PLANET. We find Anakin looking at a hologram message from Padme, something like "thinking of you" notes. She says that she really enjoyed the last message he sent her and can't wait to see him again. She mentions that while the Senate drags their feet in dealing with the dispute, her planet is making an alliance with planet Ziaa that should protect them from any further aggression by the Trade Federation and the blockade has been dismantled. The correspondence proves to be a bit of a distraction for Skywalker and Obi-Wan tells his apprentice as much and to keep his mind on the job. He reminds him that the assignment is to back up a small team of Jedi who have infiltrated a Separatists group planning to blow up a sub committee meeting of Republic senators meeting on Kiiron.

Anakin's attitude is pretty confident as he reassures his master that he's prepared for this mission and recounts a few past successful missions including the Naboo affair where he performed well. Kenobi says be that as it may each job is different and he's expected to conduct himself in a professional manner at all times but especially near mission time. Then the Jedi master sits down, looks his apprentice in the eyes and says there's a chance this group may be in contact with a Sith. This may be their chance to track down the person who murdered Master Qui-Gon. Obi-Wan then reveals that there may have been a Sith presence the day of the bombing on Anakin's home planet Yairn. With this new information introduced, Anakin reassures his master that his head is in the game. After Obi-Wan walks away to another part of the ship, Anakin activates his holographic device again this time bringing up a computer image of the Sith as described by Obi-Wan's brief encounter with him. The image bears a resemblance to the demon in Anakin's visions. The young apprentice stares unblinking at the glowing image. WIPE TO...
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PLANET ZIAA - WE FOLLOW A CARAVAN OF TRANSPORT SHIPS LANDING ON A TARMAC. Several official looking individuals disembark. These are diplomats from Naboo including the Queen and Princess Padme, all are dressed in formal royal make up. While Padme has seen pictures of the Prince of Ziaa, they've never met personally. They are happily greeted by Ziaan officials and invited to the royal palace where they meet the King and and Queen. Pleasantries are exchanged and the Ziaan Queen gushes over Padme, excited about the affair. Later, as the Princess and the Queen are finishing getting the last touches of the ceremonial make up done, Padme starts hinting at misgivings about the arrangement. Her mother pooh-poohs her trepidation as just nerves and tells her that the man she's betrothed to is a good man and once the wedding ceremony is over she will feel better about the whole thing. Padme looks at her reflection in the big make up mirror only half believing that. WIPE TO...

KIIRON - WE'RE LOOKING THROUGH A PAIR OF BINOCULARS AT A WAREHOUSE ON THE EDGE OF A BUSTLING METROPOLIS AT DUSK. Obi-Wan and two Kiironian officers are stationed not too far away from the front of the building watching people going in and out. Speaking into a small communicator he tells Anakin, with his small team of two Kiironians positioned at the rear, that the conspirators and the Jedi undercover agents should be arriving shortly. Anakin acknowledges and sits back relaxing a bit. He and the officer seated next to him strike up small talk about where Skywalker comes from. Anakin talks about his planet and how the sun would set in the evening beautifully just like this one. His gaze goes to the skyline of the nearby city with the big sun setting in a haze of watercolor red and orange. The scene recalls the city-scape on his home planet Yairn that fateful day and we watch Anakin's face go blank as he stares at the metropolis. The officer nudges him and asks if he's okay just as Obi-Wan calls in that the targets have arrived and Skywalker snaps out of his flashback, grins self consciously, and checks his earpiece. He can hear the conversation from the warehouse as the conspirators greet each other. Peering through the warehouse window with his binoculars Anakin sees the UC Jedi agents disguised as Kiironians sympathetic to the Separatist cause and standing across from them are three Aetnagians who are separatist sympathizers as well. Anakin calls over to Obi-Wan that he remembers the briefing state there were four Aetnagians, Kenobi confirms and tells him to hold his position. Over Anakin's earpiece we hear a sympathizer say that the fourth brother is bringing about destiny and the Republic will come tumbling down along with the Jedi dogs and then there's a flurry of laser fire.

Obi-Wan yells the Jedi's cover is blown and calls for back up to move in! Anakin and the Kiironioans scramble from their position just as a Aetnagian bursts out of a window at the back exit. Aetnagians have four arms and this one has blasters in two of them. Shooting his way out of the back, Anakin and the officers engage in a direct exchange with the suspect. The first officer is hit and killed and the suspect runs down an alley. Anakin goes to the officer sees he's dead and goes after the suspect. Further down the alley the second officer shoots at the Separatist and in that exchange he is wounded. Anakin catches up and provides cover fire while dragging the officer to safety. The Padawan checks his wound and the officer yells that he's okay and for Skywalker to go after the Separatist! The Aetnagian jumps out from behind cover shooting as Anakin returns fire. An incredible shot hits Skywalker's blaster and blows the weapon from his hand, instinctively Anakin quickly draws his light saber and deflects the other laser fire including ricocheting one shot back at the Aetnagian and knocking the blaster out of his hand. The suspect raises the other blaster but it malfunctions. Throwing the weapon away, he runs down the alley closely followed by the Jedi.

Aetnagian's are naturally very fleet of foot and the young padawan is quickly outpaced (there is no Jedi Super Speed). The separatist ducks down a side alley and a few seconds later Anakin arrives but there's no sign of the suspect. Obi-Wan calls out for Anakin's location and he replies where he is then hears something fall on the ground nearby. Igniting his light-saber again, he cuts through a metal fence and kicks in the hole to see the suspect crawling into the window of a building. The chase is on! The Aetnagian runs into a stairwell and bounds up the stairs like a Gazelle only touching the bottom, middle and top step on each floor. Skywalker has to use his Force Leaping ability to keep up. The suspect breaks through the door on the roof and runs to the ledge and jumps to the next roof top. On the ground Kenobi arrives on a speeder bike just in time to see the suspect and Skywalker leaping from rooftop to rooftop. Obi-Wan starts to ride in their direction but hears calls for assistance from the authorities about the other separatist suspects. Sighing in frustration, he turns the hover bike in the opposite direction. The buildings are getting further apart and Anakin has to use his Force Levitation ability to stay on the Aetnagian's tail.

Jumping to the last rooftop the suspect comes to a sliding halt as the next building is too far to leap even for him. Turning quickly to run for the exit door, Anakin blocks his path with his light saber drawn. Totally out of breath, the young apprentice tells the Separatist to submit to arrest. The Aetnagian raises his hands, all four of them, when we suddenly hear a concussive explosion in the distance and black smoke billows from the metropolis. Smiling triumphantly, the Separatist spits at Skywalker, the wad landing on his shoes. At that exact moment Anakin realizes they're alone on the roof. Obi-Wan is calling on the communicator for his Padawan to reply with his location and Anakin shuts it off. The Jedi apprentice raises his hand in the air and the suspect starts to levitate off the ground. "I know you're in contact with a Sith, tell me who it is?" The Aetnagian reaches for his throat with his second pair of hands as he feels his air cutting off. Gasping and struggling for a few seconds he croaks out "There is no Sith!" The Padawan's eyes narrow in concentration and the suspect floats over the building ledge. "Aetnagians have three hearts. I will burst all of them one by one for every lie you tell me." Anakin says calmly, "who is your contact to the Sith."
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The separatist's eyes bulge out as he feels a heart muscle tighten. He looks at his interrogator and sees someone with no compunction about killing him in the most painful way possible. Blue blood starts to flow from his nose and mouth and just as unconsciousness creeps in, the tightness in his chest relents. "Give me the name of your contact to the Sith." the measured voice demands. Disorientation hits the suspect as his body is rotated horizontally in space. He can see the ground far below and the height of the pending fall brings panic. "The longer you hold out, the longer this will last. Now, the name?" The second heart muscle tightens along with the first and a shock of excruciating pain ripples through the Aetnagian's body. Unable to withstand the onslaught of agony he blurts out "Pash-Ghari! Her name is Pash-Ghari! Please, I beg you! STOP!"

At that moment Obi-Wan rises up behind them on his speeder bike, lands it and jumps onto the roof. Anakin still has the terror suspect in the air, blood dripping from his face when the master demands his apprentice to release him. Skywalker lowers the body to a foot above the floor of the roof then drops him like a stone. The Aetnagian curls into a fetal position and desperately gasps for air. "What the hell are you doing?!" Kenobi yells, looking at his apprentice in shock. "I got the name of their contact to the Sith, Master!" Anakin says with satisfaction. Grabbing his Padawan by the shoulders, Kenobi exclaims "Anakin, we do NOT do things like this!" Anakin, taken aback, repeats that he got pertinent information and Obi-Wan cuts him off and demands he hand over his light-saber. The order causes the Padawan to blink in stunned silence. Without another word he gives his weapon to his master. "We'll talk about this later." Kenobi says turning his attention to the trembling heap on the ground. Checking the pulse on the side of the suspects body, the Jedi pulls the suspect out of his curled position and lays him out straight. Obi-Wan says he's going into shock and calls on his communicator for medical assistance. Anakin watches his mentor administer first aid to the suspect as emergency vehicles approach. WIPE TO...

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Honestly I love how you have done the Star Wars prequels, I really really like it
 
But for the Star Wars movies how I would cast the prequels:

Episode I:

Qui-Gon Jinn- Russell Crowe
Obi-Wan Kenobi- Chris Hemsworth
Padme Amidala- Emma Watson
Shmi Skywalker- Helena Bonham Carter
Chancellor Palpatine/Darth Sidious- Ian McDiarmid
Darth Maul- Scott Adkins (body)/Sam Witwer (voice)
R2-D2- Kenny Baker
C-3PO- Anthony Daniels
Nute Gunray- Anthony Hopkins
Sabe Amidala- Eva Green
Mace Windu- Either Wesley Snipes or Michael Jai White
Yoda- Frank Oz
Dooku- Patrick Stewart
 
Honestly I love how you have done the Star Wars prequels, I really really like it

thank you very much..I'm working on The Dark Lord Rises now then I'll do Revenge of the Sith so stay tuned:yay:
 
But for the Star Wars movies how I would cast the prequels:

Episode I:

Qui-Gon Jinn- Russell Crowe
Obi-Wan Kenobi- Chris Hemsworth
Padme Amidala- Emma Watson
Shmi Skywalker- Helena Bonham Carter
Chancellor Palpatine/Darth Sidious- Ian McDiarmid
Darth Maul- Scott Adkins (body)/Sam Witwer (voice)
R2-D2- Kenny Baker
C-3PO- Anthony Daniels
Nute Gunray- Anthony Hopkins
Sabe Amidala- Eva Green
Mace Windu- Either Wesley Snipes or Michael Jai White
Yoda- Frank Oz
Dooku- Patrick Stewart

very interesting pick:woot:
 
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PLANET ONARISS - WE MOVE DOWNWARD FROM THE CRAWL TO FOLLOW A TROOP TRANSPORT VESSEL LEADING A DOZEN OTHERS HEADING INTO THE ATMOSPHERE OF A BLUISH-GREEN PLANET. Larger war ships are battling in the space around the planet and we follow a troop transport ship as it descends into the atmosphere. Dressed in a field uniform and black hooded cloak, Major Anakin Skywalker looking a bit older from the stress of war, he has stubble on his scarred face, shouts last minute instructions to his clone troops as the ship navigates through anti aircraft flak on its way to the surface. Walking through the carrier, he sternly pats his troops on the shoulder while making his way to the rear of the ship. Seeing his Padawan standing alone and looking nervous, Skywalker approaches him, gives a stern look and tells him to remember his training, allow the Force to flow through him and to stay close when they reach the surface.

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The ships land on the surface of the planet and the troops disembark in a rush. This is urban warfare and the fighting is intense as Republic soldiers clash with Confederacy of Independent Systems (Separatists) forces on the streets of capital city. The clone troopers methodically push the local militia, who is fighting with the droid army, back and take more territory moving toward the capital building. Major Skywalker watches from atop a tank and commands his troops from the rear. The clone troopers finally make they're way to the steps of the capital building and have it surrounded. Inside the building the militia fighters have the huge front doors barricaded. The men take cover in the building waiting for the final attack. Outside, Skywalker's tank rolls up and he and his apprentice step onto the ground. A clone trooper captain steps to him and says they have the area secure and are prepared to execute the final assault on his command. The Jedi surveys the scene and gives a nod.

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From inside the building the militia men crouch behind shields prepared for the worst. The huge door explodes and three squads of 501st Legion pour into the breach firing at anything that moves. After an intense exchange of laser fire its over quickly and those not killed are rounded up and taken prisoner. As other clone troopers move to secure the building, Major Skywalker walks into the lobby, his black cloak flows out behind him as he steps over bodies that still litter the area. A squad leader comes to him and gives his report that the building is secure but there is no sign of the militia or Separatist military leaders of this region. The Jedi officer orders the squad leader to prepare a room. Looking over at the POWs, Anakin sees the three highest ranked men in the group, marches over to one and with both hands grabs a surviving militia soldier holding him up in the air by his neck, he demands to know where the Separatist leaders are. In the background we see a shocked look on his Padawan face. CUT TO...

STAR WARS: Rise of the Dark Lord
 
I think if Episode I and II's story were fused in some way, like a time-jump, it could've kept the story from being tedious and lack of stupid filler. Not that that would cure the dry dialogue, but it'd be a start.
 
I think if Episode I and II's story were fused in some way, like a time-jump, it could've kept the story from being tedious and lack of stupid filler. Not that that would cure the dry dialogue, but it'd be a start.

are you talking about my fanfic or the actual stories??
 
are you talking about my fanfic or the actual stories??

The actual films. Cut out the tedious exposition and the films could've been lots better. But again, that dry, wooden dialogue was hurting it, as well.
 
okay..what u think of my version?

I'm intrigued. I could see it playing out differently, but do like many aspects. Many, many parsecs above the original trilogy. I feel conflicted with some things, but also that you kept the action and yet made characterization. Which the prequels lacked so much. But I'm flexible. I could totally get behind a lot of what you put.

One thing: leave out midi-chlorians. Bleh. Or, if you're sticking to canon and do want to make it a part of that universe, I've always thought that if they retconned the microorganisms that'd be cool. The way to do that would be to make them a sign of The Force, not the source. Like where a being, or even objects, have high sources of Force power, this microorganism grows like a bacteria. But even with all that said, could've done without it from the start. Though we're stuck with them now.

I think Lucas was reading an article about mitochondria powering our cells, so he just reconfigured the word with the "mito-" prefix and made it into a microbe. Sigh. Guess he thought it'd be more science fiction-y. Just quelled the mysticism of The Force.
 
I'm intrigued. I could see it playing out differently, but do like many aspects. Many, many parsecs above the original trilogy. I feel conflicted with some things, but also that you kept the action and yet made characterization. Which the prequels lacked so much. But I'm flexible. I could totally get behind a lot of what you put.

One thing: leave out midi-chlorians. Bleh. Or, if you're sticking to canon and do want to make it a part of that universe, I've always thought that if they retconned the microorganisms that'd be cool. The way to do that would be to make them a sign of The Force, not the source. Like where a being, or even objects, have high sources of Force power, this microorganism grows like a bacteria. But even with all that said, could've done without it from the start. Though we're stuck with them now.

I think Lucas was reading an article about mitochondria powering our cells, so he just reconfigured the word with the "mito-" prefix and made it into a microbe. Sigh. Guess he thought it'd be more science fiction-y. Just quelled the mysticism of The Force.

you must have skimmed the stories because if you read it you would have saw this..

QUI-GON JINN AND OBI-WAN KENOBI ARRIVE TO INVESTIGATE THE TERRORIST ATTACK. They suspect its by the Separatists and while questioning people, they run into that young man who introduces himself as Anakin Skywalker. He says that his father was a leader of the guild that was being harassed about joining the Separatists movement. Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan sense a strong force vibe from him (no midi-chlorian bs). Anakin asks what it takes to become a Jedi so that he can prevent attacks like the one that took his parents and after some back and forth they agree to take him to the Jedi Temple for testing and training. Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan continue their investigation and discover light saber burns on a murdered security team. Only a Jedi can handle that kind of weapon so expertly but no Jedi would do this. Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan are puzzled by this development. WIPE TO...
 
you must have skimmed the stories because if you read it you would have saw this..

QUI-GON JINN AND OBI-WAN KENOBI ARRIVE TO INVESTIGATE THE TERRORIST ATTACK. They suspect its by the Separatists and while questioning people, they run into that young man who introduces himself as Anakin Skywalker. He says that his father was a leader of the guild that was being harassed about joining the Separatists movement. Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan sense a strong force vibe from him (no midi-chlorian bs). Anakin asks what it takes to become a Jedi so that he can prevent attacks like the one that took his parents and after some back and forth they agree to take him to the Jedi Temple for testing and training. Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan continue their investigation and discover light saber burns on a murdered security team. Only a Jedi can handle that kind of weapon so expertly but no Jedi would do this. Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan are puzzled by this development. WIPE TO...
Oh, snap. Ok. Cool. I read too fast. So accidental skimming may have happened. Don't no how I would've missed that. I'm all about no midi-chlorians. Lol.
 

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