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Is it too late to move to Canada?

Drakon

I got a rock.
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Kathleen Robertson of Austin, Texas, was awarded $80,000. by a jury of her peers after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler who was running inside a furniture store. The owners of the store were understandably surprised at the verdict, considering the misbehaving little toddler was Ms. Robertson's son.

19-year-old Carl Truman of Los Angeles won $74,000 and medical expenses when his neighbor ran over his hand with a Honda Accord. Mr. Truman apparently didn't notice there was someone at the wheel of the car when he was trying to steal his neighbor's hubcaps.

Terrence *****on of Bristol, Pennsylvania, was leaving a house he had just finished robbing by way of the garage. He was not able to get the garage door to go up since the automatic door opener was malfunctioning. He couldn't re-enter the house because the door connecting the house and garage locked when he pulled it shut. The family was on vacation, and Mr. *****on found himself locked in the garage for eight days. He subsisted on a case of Pepsi he found, and a large bag of dry dog food. He sued the homeowner's insurance claiming the situation caused him undue mental anguish. The jury agreed, to the tune of $500,000.

Jerry Williams of Little Rock, Arkansas, was awarded $14,500. and medical expenses after being bitten on the buttocks by his next door neighbor's beagle. The beagle was on a chain in its owner's fenced yard. The award was less than sought because the jury felt the dog might have been just a little provoked at the time by Mr. Williams who had climbed over the fence into the yard and was shooting it repeatedly with a pellet gun.

A Philadelphia restaurant was ordered to pay Amber Carson of Lancaster, Pennsylvania, $113,500. after she slipped on a soft drink and broke her coccyx (tailbone). The beverage was on the floor because Ms. Carson had thrown it at her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier during an argument.

Kara Walton of Claymont, Delaware, successfully sued the owner of a night club in a neighboring city when she fell from the bathroom window to the floor and knocked out her two front teeth. This occurred while Ms. Walton was trying to sneak through the window in the ladies room to avoid paying the $3.50 cover charge . She was awarded $12,000 and dental expenses.

This year's runaway winner was Mrs. Merv Grazinski of Oklahoma City, Oklahoma. Mrs. Grazinski purchased a brand new 32-foot Winnebago motor home. On her first trip home, (from an OU football game), having driven onto the freeway, she set the cruise control at 70 mph and calmly left the driver's seat to go into the back & make herself a sandwich. Not surprisingly, the RV left the freeway, crashed and overturned (thankfully without injuring anyone). Mrs.Grazinski sued Winnebago for not advising her in the owner's manual that she couldn't actually do this. The jury awarded her $1,750,000 plus a new motor home. The company actually changed their manuals on the basis of this suit, just in case there were any other complete morons around.
 
holy mother of crap, and I'm here working.....yeha life's real fair.
 
Drakon said:
This year's runaway winner was Mrs. Merv Grazinski of Oklahoma City, Oklahoma. Mrs. Grazinski purchased a brand new 32-foot Winnebago motor home. On her first trip home, (from an OU football game), having driven onto the freeway, she set the cruise control at 70 mph and calmly left the driver's seat to go into the back & make herself a sandwich. Not surprisingly, the RV left the freeway, crashed and overturned (thankfully without injuring anyone).
Stupid, freakin idiot.
 
Amazing.

If I were to go to a hardware store in America and stab myself in the leg with a screwdriver, how much am I likely to receive in damages?
 
Mr Sparkle said:
holy mother of crap, and I'm here working.....yeha life's real fair.
Yeah, be an idiot. Get money :/
 
Yep, the majority of the American public is ******ed.
 
Bat Brain said:
Amazing.

If I were to go to a hardware store in America and stab myself in the leg with a screwdriver, how much am I likely to receive in damages?
Just remember, it has to look like an accident.
 
Immortalfire said:
Stupid, freakin idiot.
D
This one is more stupider


Kara Walton of Claymont, Delaware, successfully sued the owner of a night club in a neighboring city when she fell from the bathroom window to the floor and knocked out her two front teeth. This occurred while Ms. Walton was trying to sneak through the window in the ladies room to avoid paying the $3.50 cover charge . She was awarded $12,000 and dental expenses.

How did she even get into the positition to fall anyway at a night club ? Idiots
 
It disgusts me how we reward blatant stupidity in this country. In my mind, we're interferring with Natural Selection in many of these cases, too, which simply shouldn't be happening. The herd needs a little thinning.

jag
 
I actually know of a person who had one of those plastic number thingys fall on them from about three feet above their head [he's like 6"2] and he wasn't even bothered by it, but the store made him take a 50,000 check so that he wouldn't sue.
 
Drakon said:
A Philadelphia restaurant was ordered to pay Amber Carson of Lancaster, Pennsylvania, $113,500. after she slipped on a soft drink and broke her coccyx (tailbone). The beverage was on the floor because Ms. Carson had thrown it at her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier during an argument.
Lmao
 
Immortalfire said:
Just remember, it has to look like an accident.

So the woman that fell off the balcony at that night club was pushed off ? I somehow doubt that
 
See this is why I really don't like... well you know, normally at this point I'd make an inflammatory statement about Liberals or something, but it isn't liberals fault. This isn't conservatives fault. For once, I don't think this is a division of Yankees and Southerners, Liberals and Coservatives or Religious and nonreligious folk. This is just a group of moneygrubbing morons and a system that has devolved enough to allow them to win...

Gosh I hate what this country has become lol
 
Kathleen Robertson of Austin, Texas, was awarded $80,000. by a jury of her peers after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler who was running inside a furniture store. The owners of the store were understandably surprised at the verdict, considering the misbehaving little toddler was Ms. Robertson's son.

say what?? shoot the mother and the idiots jurors!
 
Drakon said:
Kathleen Robertson of Austin, Texas, was awarded $80,000. by a jury of her peers after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler who was running inside a furniture store. The owners of the store were understandably surprised at the verdict, considering the misbehaving little toddler was Ms. Robertson's son.

Ah, crap. Some people could get the wrong idea about my fine city from this.
 
To be fair, since Trudeau was around, Canada has been getting a lot more litigous.
 
JLBats said:
To be fair, since Trudeau was around, Canada has been getting a lot more litigous.

I'm Pierre, the only French bum in North York
When I open my Boone's Farm, I still sniff the cork
So have you a quarter, I'm begging you please
I have to have wine with my government cheese

...I am aware that is historically inaccurate, I just felt like quoting Stephen Lynch.
 
It's always too late to move to Canada. :down:cmad:
 

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