The Last Stand MY version of 'X-Men 3' (completed fan script)

[Seen]

Whew! Well, I've finally completed my version of X-Men 3. In script form, that is. I've been working on this baby for a long time -- weeks, months -- really, all the way from May 2003 after X2 was released, when my story was called X3: X-Men Divided (which I wrote on these very boards back in May of '03). I worked on that for a few months, but left it.

The plot remains the same as the actual X3 -- a cure for mutancy is revealed and Jean Grey is resurrected as The Dark Phoenix. You'll notice some structural and thematic similarities with my script and the X3 you saw. However, there are noticeable deviations. I think this stands on its own.

I'm welcome to all comments, suggestions, feedback, et al. I think my main point of interest is how this compares and contrasts to the actual X3. Was it worse? Better? Too similiar? Too shocking? Too predictable? And what not. This is basically my intrepretation of how I would've handled the material in X-Men: The Last Stand.

Anyway, the script can be found at the link below. Enjoy.

http://home.comcast.net/~djmarcus/X_Men_3.pdf

I also want to thank Beau (a former member of these boards) for contributing to the script.

 

[La_She-Beast]

Wow, Seen, this is very, very interesting. And so many great parts here. (I'd like to add some details can't remember all of them though) There are some things though, that I cannot visualise- that's why perhaps needs more description (but it's a script, not your fault) and I think you introduced too many new characters... Bishop, (I think this one was a bit... I couldn't see the point of him being in the plot) Emma, Lang, Beast, Angel... too many at a a time. I think they needed more... (sorry to say this) character development. E.g. Lang, sincerely in the Marvel universe I don't know who he is, and here I can't hardly know him either

Spoiler

About Cyclops being cured-whoah, that's a weird idea. Actually it's shocking, I'm sure it'd create a great impact at the end of the movie. Something unpredictable

Btw it's Kavita

 

[Seen]

Wow, Seen, this is very, very interesting. And so many great parts here. (I'd like to add some details can't remember all of them though)

Thanks! I hope you enjoyed reading it.

There are some things though, that I cannot visualise- that's why perhaps needs more description (but it's a script, not your fault)

Funny thing. A few of my previous scripts were called, by my writer friends, as too descriptive. So for this one, in particular, I decided to cut back at the descriptiveness. And now you say it needs more description!

Just kidding. But like you already know (most likely), scripts are the blue print for the real visualizer -- the director.

and I think you introduced too many new characters...

I agree. My first draft was 201 pages. My second was 171. This is 148. And I do feel that I cut out a lot of crucial Dark Phoenix scenes, but oh well.

Bishop, (I think this one was a bit... I couldn't see the point of him being in the plot)

He was the Callisto of this script. He told...

Spoiler

Magneto the location of the Phoenix on two ocassions, eventually leading Magneto to Jean, where he used her to help him in the end battle. Also, in a cut scene, Bishop also brings Phoenix back to the time of Ann Malcolm's death, where Phoenix gets the idea to destroy man AND machine because she thinks it was both man and machine that killed her.

Emma, Lang, Beast, Angel... too many at a a time.

I agree that Emma could probably have been cut, but Lang, Beast and Angel I think serve the story -- Beast and Angel are interconnected, and Lang represents the evil governmental aspect of the script (IMO).

I think they needed more... (sorry to say this) character development.

I agree. I had to cut out a lot from my first draft just to get this script at a mangeable length, and truth be told a lot of character development scenes (for Phoenix, Bobby, Rogue, Iceman and Colossus) were cut because of it.

E.g. Lang, sincerely in the Marvel universe I don't know who he is, and here I can't hardly know him either

The best way to describe him is a lackey of Stryker's. Someone to continue the idealisms of William Stryker, and so forth.

Spoiler

About Cyclops being cured-whoah, that's a weird idea. Actually it's shocking, I'm sure it'd create a great impact at the end of the movie. Something unpredictable

Spoiler

Well, Jean did restore Cyclops' powers at the end. I was hesitant on doing that, but I felt it would be a gift from Jean to Cyclops to give him back his powers. Also, another cut scene was Jean and Cyclops, in a flashback, in the Rockies where Jean telepathically keeps Cyclops' optic blasts in check. It was taken from the Dark Phoenix Saga, and would further explain why and how Jean does so at the climax.

Btw it's Kavita

Did I misspell that? Blah! It's a weird first name.

 

[Boba_Fett_123]

I'm torn. I want to like it, because there's a lot of good ideas. I think I'd like to read the original draft, regardless of the length, because it feels like crucial scenes are missing, at least to me. I also think it could benefit from a final edit, simply because there are a LOT of spelling and format errors that need to be cleaned up. Some of the action is a little unclear, especially in the Alkali Lake scene, where it seems like the timeline gets a little screwy. Did you cut something out of the Alkali Lake scene? That's what it seems happened.

On the whole, though, I like it a lot. I agree that too many characters are introduced. I was a bit confused on the location of Muir Island for a bit, until I finally realized it was within Alcatraz. It's a very nice effort, though: lots of great ideas, and fundamentally more faithful to the spirit of X2.

 

[AznBABYBANDIT]

Wow, nice ^^

 

[MaleRogue]

uuuh...
the link doesn;t work for me
I wanna read it

 

[Boba_Fett_123]

Go to adobe.com and download Adobe Reader if you haven't already.

 

[MaleRogue]

Thanks I will try

 

[flavio_lebeau]

148 pages? thats almost Titanic length X2's script had 110 pages and turned to be 2:20. But since you have no purpose on making it real, i think there's no problem.

 

[DrChronic]

It was ok but some parts i didnt like. But basically the idea about Cyclops being cured. although i didnt write that in my verson of x-men 3. I did send a script to marvel where it a new mutant is found in alaska called the Doctor who cures Cyclops. I think the idea of Cyclops getting cured is something we should see in the comics at some point.

Ok what i felt was the story was ok, but initially it lacked a main new male leading character. Personnely Gambit and i dont mean that because im a fan and just wanted him in the movie.

What would of been better for the flow of the story is to have two sides of the coin. Brotherhood - hates the cure, X-Men well they dont like the idea but believe it should be a choice for some mutants if they wish to take it.

Of this we have Rogue contimplating it, unable to touch bobby. But what would of been great was to tare them appart because of this and Rogue meeting Gambit who is one of the brotherhood members fighting against the cure as well but soon changes his mind when he meets Rogue and finds he is unable to kiss her. But what would of been cool was to have Rogue and Gambit work as independtant to either X-Men or Brotherhood members. as Rogue would leave because she wants the cure, and Gambit easly swayed by the love of a woman.

 

[tonytr1687]

148 pages? thats almost Titanic length X2's script had 110 pages and turned to be 2:20. But since you have no purpose on making it real, i think there's no problem.

Actually most Hollywood scripts have a ratio of 1 minute per page. So if applied to this one the film would end up around 2 and a half hours.

 

[Seen]

I think I'd like to read the original draft, regardless of the length, because it feels like crucial scenes are missing, at least to me.

Agreed wholeheartedly. I'll try and get online my first draft, which was 201 pages.

Did you cut something out of the Alkali Lake scene? That's what it seems happened.

I repositioned some scenes, yeah. That's probably it.

On the whole, though, I like it a lot. I agree that too many characters are introduced. I was a bit confused on the location of Muir Island for a bit, until I finally realized it was within Alcatraz. It's a very nice effort, though: lots of great ideas, and fundamentally more faithful to the spirit of X2.

I'm glad you enjoyed it.

 

[Boba_Fett_123]

Actually most Hollywood scripts have a ratio of 1 minute per page. So if applied to this one the film would end up around 2 and a half hours.

That's a rule of thumb, but it's almost never true.

 

[flavio_lebeau]

That's a rule of thumb, but it's almost never true.

indeed, thats why i said X2's script is 110 pages and the movie is way longer. Actually, nowadays Hollywood hardly accepts scripts longer than 120, 130 pages, unless you're VERY famous and trustable finantially.

 

[TKing]

Well, Seen, like I've said in the Fan Fiction forum, your script is very good. At some points, I was little confused, but overall it's a good piece of work.

I think you introduced too many new characters...

And you don't think X3 had too many characters? Callisto, Arclight, Juggernaut, Beast, Angel, Psylocke, Quills, Spike, Dr. Rao, Bolivar Trask, Moira MacTaggert, Leech, Multiple Man, Kitty Pryde (in a talking role)... the list is endless.

 

[Muad'Dib]

Hi Seen,

I just wanted to comment what a terrific job you made with your script.

Did you base the Washington sequence at the end on the original third act of X3 which was supposed to be in Washington?

In any case great job with the script.

I'm a little bummed to see still such friction between Logan and Scott, particularly after in X2 you see Logan wants to reach out to him, but it was still pretty true to the characters.

Great job!

 

[bosef982]

WHat's actually funny is that while he gives a bit of credit to me, I actually wrote a good portion of the scenes exclusively in there. This just goes to show how to be careful with what you show people on the internet.

 

[Seen]

WHat's actually funny is that while he gives a bit of credit to me, I actually wrote a good portion of the scenes exclusively in there. This just goes to show how to be careful with what you show people on the internet.

Yes, I credited you, but I also reformed a lot of the story.

 

[Boba_Fett_123]

WHat's actually funny is that while he gives a bit of credit to me, I actually wrote a good portion of the scenes exclusively in there. This just goes to show how to be careful with what you show people on the internet.

Be glad you got credit at all. How do you think Ed Solomon and Christopher McQuarrie feel about X1?

 

[AznBABYBANDIT]

hmm ur script can be made into a 3 hr movie ;p...

 

[Seen]

Well, I'm working on a new draft (which would be my ... third or fourth). The changes are:

1)More Jean/Phoenix.

2)Elimination of some characters

3)Nightcrawler is included.

4)Rogue plays a part in the final battle.

5)Cyclops/Logan rivlarly is played up more.

I should be done with it soon.

 

[Cosmic Mind]

I want to say something, is beautiful!!!!!! The cure plot is handled perfectly here, the best cure plot........ the Dark Phoenix, is cool specially the ending is the greatest one, more massive than the movie one.....But it needs some work:

- As you said, more Jean/Phoenix: it needs more explanation, go more in deph in explaning the reason of her being powerful, the explanation make me begging for more. I love the scene when she remembers Annie's death, work more on there as an explanation for her instability(if you want to)…. use some elements of X3 in terms of explaining plus adding your personal touch(If you want to)....... more action of course……
- Nightcrawler must appear…….
- Some order in the action scenes, specially the Alkali lake scene is a little confusing…….
- Phoenix finale………she just …..puff!!.......explain me that….
- I feel that the cure plot takes more center stage than the Dark Phoenix Saga….
- The Cure plot is awesome, way more better than the movie version, but it needs to be polished…….
- Moira working on the cure???? Hmmm good explanation…..I feel mixed about this…….It should be Warren Sr., Unless you are using both as founders of the cure because of their sons….
- Emma’s role need some work….try to make closer to the comics in terms of personality, and also it would be cool if you make her feel something for Scott….
- Bishop’s role is weird, he knows the future…….ok. You could still add Calisto to the mix, use her as an mutant radar, while Bishop sees the future….
- The other three points…(elimination of characters, Cyclops and Wolverine rivalry plus Rogue(that needs some polish) in the final battle ) ……go for it. It will work


I’m looking forward to see more of it, one of the best X3 script I have read before…. I see there’s some duality here: Cure(anti-evolution), Dark Phoenix(pro-evolution), with Phoenix resulting to be stronger……I like that………

 

[OliPhoenixFire]

Am too tired to read it all... But i'll get the rest tomorrow... Sounds quite great for now!

 

[PowersOfMind]

Whew! Well, I've finally completed my version of X-Men 3. In script form, that is. I've been working on this baby for a long time -- weeks, months -- really, all the way from May 2003 after X2 was released, when my story was called X3: X-Men Divided (which I wrote on these very boards back in May of '03). I worked on that for a few months, but left it.

The plot remains the same as the actual X3 -- a cure for mutancy is revealed and Jean Grey is resurrected as The Dark Phoenix. You'll notice some structural and thematic similarities with my script and the X3 you saw. However, there are noticeable deviations. I think this stands on its own.

I'm welcome to all comments, suggestions, feedback, et al. I think my main point of interest is how this compares and contrasts to the actual X3. Was it worse? Better? Too similiar? Too shocking? Too predictable? And what not. This is basically my intrepretation of how I would've handled the material in X-Men: The Last Stand.

Anyway, the script can be found at the link below. Enjoy.

http://home.comcast.net/~djmarcus/X_Men_3.pdf

I also want to thank Beau (a former member of these boards) for contributing to the script.

I only read the first fifty or so pages but so far its great.Just from what ive read so far I know this is going to be good.

 

[Seen]

http://home.comcast.net/~djmarcus/X_Men_3_Mark_2.pdf

There is the link to my new draft. This time I co-credited Beau and also credited a friend, Ken Carper, who helped reconceptualize this draft with me.

All of the changes that I wanted to incorporate I did. You'll notice the Dark Phoenix subplot has more prominence, and some of the scenes in general are more polished. I extracted Moira MacTaggert, Emma Frost and Bishop, and now the Morlocks (including a more faithful version of Callisto) are included to assist Magneto and his new Brotherhood. Scott and Logan's rivarly is played up more, Nightcrawler is included, and Bobby and Rogue's relationship is expounded upon. Rogue also now plays a vital role in the final battle.

Comments, suggestions, feedback et al is appreciated. Enjoy!