What I learned From Marvel:

[KangConquers]

112: If you are a time-travelling old man, you will inevitably be thwarted by your middle-age self who wishes not to become you; if you're a time travelling middle-aged man, you'll inevitably be thwarted by your teenage self, who wishes not to become you. You will fall to your youngerself despite pressumably living through these events in your past.

113: Despite zillions of new expirements, the ultimate serum will always be the one that made a guy just "olympic level."

114: If an object is indestructible, you'll never find out why; Marvel doesn't know why, either.

115: If you are a minor Silver Age villain, you've been forgotten. If you're a minor Silver Age Spider-Man villain, you've been in 300 issues, had your own mini and have a myspace fan group based on you.

116: Characters are only vulnerable when the situation calls for it; a character can be shot 4 times in the chest by an automatic weapon and survive, but if his girlfriend shoots him in the stomach with a hand gun, it's all over.

117: No matter how many times you kill the Red Skull, Magneto or Doctor Doom, they will be back within 12-18 months, which is like 2 months of continuity.

118: Despite the fact that almost every superhero eventually gets wrongly accused of a crime and arrested, the only heroes the Ohotmu lists as having a criminal record are the ones that are supposed to be anti-heroes.

119: If you're black, and have your own series, you won't be able to make it 3 issues without massive exploitation of your race to sell comics.

120: The smaller a nation is, the better their technology is.

121: Despite killing their girlfriend, their uncle, their father, their sidekick or their child, the hero will feel compelled to let the arch-villain who's tormented him so live, even though he knows the villain will just do it again.

122: List of priorities in your life: Dead college girlfriend > dead Uncle > Aunt> Wife > Child

123: Every superhero team must have it's closeness punctuated with a convoluted family tree that involves villains, heroes, androids, clones, and artificial spriit children. The end result of these lines will be some evil tyrrant; but that is only one possible future.

 

[Landfill]

skrulls live among us.

 

[KangConquers]

124. When a female character goes from second stringer to a prominent role, her breasts enlarge. (The Ms. Marvel rule.)

125. When a character is brutally scarred by an accident they were almost always ridiculously good looking before hand.

126. SHIELD was unable to save Steve Rogers from a single gunshot wound to the stomach but was able to keep Crossbones alive after Bucky blew his chest apart.

127. The government has formulas that allow important SHIELD agents to live basically forever; inexplicably, no Presidents, senators, congressmen, or powerful civilians have secured these magic elixirs for personal use.

128. You are allowed one reference to current events that completely dates your comic and makes it a laughing stock in 10 years every issue.

129. Nazis had much more advanced technology than the U.S. yet we were able to beat them with spandex and some elbow grease.

 

[javi1024]

130. If you have to choose between the life of a 200 year old woman and you're marriage to a hot 20-something redhead model/actress, you will choose to keep the old woman because you can't live your life without her.

 

[pifpaf]

i loved javis's french cuisine

 

[BLACKVULCAN]

131: Skrulls are the lousy invaders ever!
Even though All of them can shape shift. They cant even transform into a piece of "rope" to subdue a human female! Hell they can't even transform into a Tamarian Banana Peel to make her lose her footing while she kicking their ass!

 

[BLACKVULCAN]

132: That PT Barnum was right! when "he said that there's a sucker born every minute.Cause I'm one of em for having spent my money on that Crappy piece of *#&$#@*# "Secret Invasion!" when i could have being playing black jack instead. Here's to you PT! real great man of genius!

 

[Varient]

133. Just because you have super powers that allow you to rule - Doesn't mean you'd not rather WATCH.

Source:http://www.myspace.com/uatuthewatcher

LOL

 

[Varient]

134. That deals with the devil that change the fabic of the 616 universe don't make it some other Marvel universe or come to the attention of the ten's of "existance aware" characters who have stepped in to prevent that kinda stuff.

 

[roach]

135. No matter how many movies and books detailing making deals with the Devil is a bad idea or even knowing someone who did that you still make deals with devils
136. If you have a wife who has a habit of dying and being reborn...you will move on and get a GF without thinking that she will be back
137. No matter who many times you have saved the world with your fellow superheroes the smallest disagreements result in fighting

 

[Varient]

138. Powersets and powerlevels are ajustable in direct proportion to the drama required to drive a story.
(Example - for the longest time Rouge with the baseline permed powers of Ms Marvel, was stronger, faster, and more durable than Ms Marvel ever was.)

 

[mjdiddy1]

139. Every major event is said to alter the landscape of the Marvel Universe ultimately creating a parodox were nothing really changes.

140. If you are B-list hero or supporting character, you have to betray the A-list character at least once but make amends by either sacrificing yourself or leaving for a few years only to return with more trouble being bought upon said A-list hero.

141. You could have been an active hero as far back as the 1930's and still be an active hero (or villian) not looking a day over 25.

142. You can sleep with numerous amount of super beings and not be considered promiscuous.

 

[shiva666]

143. Being a raging unshaven pile of murderous intent, will make you a better team leader, spokesperson, parental figure and honorable person than anyone else. all teams will want you as part of them, preferably giving them orders and enlightenment.

 

[shiva666]

144. No matter how many members or individual powers, the peak of teamwork will be a super strong dude lobbing a non flying one at your enemy.

145. Teams are seldom composed of individuals that offer different capabilities in actual cooperation. Sharing technologies, knowledge or artifacts is a major no-no. The best is to stick to a theme, or have all individuals with the same power.

 

[Spider-Aziz]

1. That if you get a blood transfusion from a Relative,.... You gain a variation on their powers IF your relative has Powers.

It worked for one guy and his lady relative making her a She-version of his power, the same case by the same writer made the other guy poison that other lady

5. All New Superheroes and Supervillians PREFER to start out in New York City.

That happens to DC heroes as well, you see pseudo names and pseudo buildings, but they all have their *square and is in the exact same position to Liberty island


145.5). Extra size comes and goes from a different dimension. Perhaps that works with fat

 

[Aesculapius]

146.) Alternate universe is synonymous with story-breaking plothole.
147.) It doesn't matter if you fight the most mind bendingly powerful beings in the universe and are a master of the arcane, eventually some jerkass writer will want you to fight a common criminal or startup hero and water you down to make it look like a good fight.
148) Stories don't have ends.
149) Death has a creepy stalker who needs to get laid.

 

[slim_summers]

150) Cyclops is better than you.

 

[KevanG]

151) If your girlfriend dies there's a good chance that she'll be back soon as it was a clone/kidnapping/not really dead. Unless your name is Peter Parker (barring that one time)

 

[Aesculapius]

152) It is cheating if you are just thinking about it... especially if your SO/"mistress" are both telepaths.