A few days later, it still hurts.
One of my few formative experiences growing up, where I was completely conscious of and can actually remember what I was seeing and hearing, was watching this show when I was four or five when it was airing on Fox Kids and all of the other DC animated shows up through the early 2000s on the Kids WB Saturday morning block. Batman the Animated Series, Batman Beyond and all of the various appearances his character made in the other shows. No matter what, whenever I woke up and sat down to eagerly watch all of my favorite programming, he was always there, with his calm, commanding, reassuring and compassionate voice and presence.
He taught me to be kind and compassionate to others, even those who were misunderstood and different from me, in all various walks of life. He taught me about what was right and good. He taught me to hate bullies and stand up to injustice. He taught me that it was sometimes okay to be alone, but that you also sometimes need to be around the good company of friends. He taught me to help and serve others, but that it’s also ok to admit to accepting help when you need it. He taught me that it was okay to be angry and sad sometimes, but to not let it consume you and take over your life. He told me that evil doesn’t always triumph, and is superstitious and cowardly. He taught me that sometimes you can’t help everyone, and sometimes you might lose, and that that’s okay. He taught me that not every failure you make makes you a failure. He taught me that any mistake I made was a learning experience and a chance to change and grow as a person. He taught me that it was okay to not be perfect all the time. He taught me how to process death, and that when the time came, that it was okay to let go. He taught me that it was okay to not have all the answers, and to never stop learning things, either from living life or from people, even from those younger than me.
Needless to say, this man and his performance as this character quite literally defined my entire childhood. My love and appreciation of all film and tv, comic book related and otherwise, all started with Batman: The Animated Series. If it weren’t for this show and this man existing, I quite literally wouldn’t be the person I am today. As I have typed out and dictated this entire post, processing my thoughts and feelings, I couldn’t help get through it without breaking down and bursting into tears multiple times, realizing how much this wonderful man had an impact on my life.
I could go on, but I would literally be here all day typing this stuff out, because there’s just so much I could say, but I’ll just leave it here. I hope he’s up there, silently observing, looking down and watching over all of us, making sure that evil never triumphs and that we always remain safe.
So, from the bottom of my heart and the deep depths of my soul, I just want to say thank you, Kevin, for everything. The mark that you left on all of us and everything is so indelible, your presence irreplaceable, and the hole you left unable to be filled.
You were vengeance. You were the night. You were Batman.
Rest in peace, Kevin Conroy, you beautiful, kind and magnificent soul. I will never, ever forget you.
