Relationship Help: (At least semi-serious, please)

[Peacekeeper 2.0]

I've been going out with this girl for about a month, and everything was going great, and out of nowhere she tells me she wants to break up because she doesn't want a relationship right now, and never really wanted a boyfriend going into college (we're seniors; moving away in August). I can't let her just slip away. She says she's confused and doesn't know what she wants... she looked upset today in school... she said she doesnt wanna get attached and then have to leave for school (shes going to PA, I'm going to NYC).

I need to know what to say to her to keep her... any help would be sweetxcore.

 

[Ronny Shade]

I've never had a relationship that lasted that long. Count your blessings.

 

[ShadowBoxing]

Serious question, did you sleep with her and if yes are you a bad lay?

 

[THWIP*]

I've been going out with this girl for about a month, and everything was going great, and out of nowhere she tells me she wants to break up because she doesn't want a relationship right now, and never really wanted a boyfriend going into college (we're seniors; moving away in August). I can't let her just slip away. She says she's confused and doesn't know what she wants... she looked upset today in school... she said she doesnt wanna get attached and then have to leave for school (shes going to PA, I'm going to NYC).

I need to know what to say to her to keep her... any help would be sweetxcore.

EVER HEARD "IF YOU LOVE SOMEONE, SET THEM FREE"? IT'S TRUE. IF YOU TRY TO "KEEP HER" YOU WILL ONLY MAKE THINGS WORSE FOR BOTH OF YOU. JUST LET HER KNOW HOW YOU FEEL, AND THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO LOSE HER TO ANYONE/ANYTHING ELSE; IF YOU PLANT THAT SEED NOW, YOU'VE GOT A SHOT AT GETTING BACK WITH HER IN THE FUTURE.

 

[Spider-Nerd]

you're going to college. Trust me, I'm a sophmore in college, these long distance high school relationships don't often last, and when they do, more often last night each person doesn't have as much fun at school cause they are too busy worrying about their bf/gf and not having fun. I'm not saying it's not possible, but in my experience.......

 

[C. Lee]

EVER HEARD "IF YOU LOVE SOMEONE, SET THEM FREE"? IT'S TRUE. IF YOU TRY TO "KEEP HER" YOU WILL ONLY MAKE THINGS WORSE FOR BOTH OF YOU. JUST LET HER KNOW HOW YOU FEEL, AND THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO LOSE HER TO ANYONE/ANYTHING ELSE; IF YOU PLANT THAT SEED NOW, YOU'VE GOT A SHOT AT GETTING BACK WITH HER IN THE FUTURE.

That's surprisingly good advice.

 

[DV8]

yeah . . . it's only been a month and she's right; it would be better for both of you to end the relationship now that it's in its infancy . . . the longer you stay together, the worse it will be when you both have to go to school . . . and trust me . . . both of you will find someone else in college, regardless

 

[THWIP*]

That's surprisingly good advice.

WTF IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?!

 

[DV8]

THWIP's advice is good, too . . . but you probably don't really LOVE her, if it's only been a month . . . unless you've known her for longer than that . . . or unless that's some seriously potent p***y!!!

 

[AndThePickles]

Honestly, I agree with her that she thinks the relationship needs to end. Look at it this way: Is it easier to break up now, after only a month without becoming super attached, or after it's become mainly a summer fling but with more feelings attached?

Relationships rarely last when you're entering college- especially long distance ones. You will both have so much more freedom and will be meeting so many people...and many people don't want to be "tied down" at that time.

I know that it sucks right now, but in the end I think it will be saving both of you a lot of hurt. Good luck!

 

[ShadowBoxing]

But seriously end it...if you're both going to different colleges it will just be complicated.

 

[musclesforsupes]

I dont know what to say. Probably saying this will get me banned for a record 2314st time.

 

[Ronny Shade]

WTF IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?!

hehehehe

 

[DV8]

Honestly, I agree with her that she thinks the relationship needs to end. Look at it this way: Is it easier to break up now, after only a month without becoming super attached, or after it's become mainly a summer fling but with more feelings attached?

Relationships rarely last when you're entering college- especially long distance ones. You will both have so much more freedom and will be meeting so many people...and many people don't want to be "tied down" at that time.

I know that it sucks right now, but in the end I think it will be saving both of you a lot of hurt. Good luck!

thanks for reitterating my post above

 

[AndThePickles]

thanks for reitterating my post above

I started typing it out before you posted *shrugs*

 

[DV8]

yeah . . . that was a pretty long post, but you put a 'feminine touch' on it . . . and let me tell you, I like feminine touches

 

[DV8]

The worst part about this situation is that you were all set up with a summer fling to segue into years of one-night stands and house parties, and now this . . . .

 

[PLAS]

well, just break up, keep the good memories and a good friend from high school
you must be what? 17? it's not the end of the world, just talk to her, tell her that you agree with what she wants and if you play your cards right, you might even enjoy your last days together in a relationship
in the unlikely event that a couple of weeks (maybe less) after you both split up, she's dating someone else, then it was you all the time and she just wanted to get rid of you
but always think positive

 

[jaguarr]

To add to what THWIP*, Pickles, DV8, Spider-Nerd and others have said, you're not even out of high school, yet. Trust me when I say that the best women you'll ever meet are yet to come into your life. I went through some of the same angst you're expressing when I was in high school but believe me, college and after college are when you'll really meet the women who will knock your socks off. You're young, too. You're going to grow and change a lot in the next ten years and you'll find that your taste in women and friendships is going to grow and change right along with you. Enjoy the ride and don't be in such a hurry to find your soulmate. It'll happen when the time is right. Trust me on that one.

jag, who's found his soulmate...

 

[C. Lee]

WTF IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?!

It means;

1) you gave good advice
2) you surprised me by giving good advice

 

[Calvin]

If you're heading off to college, trust me, you don't want to carry over a relationship either.

 

[Ultimate_Superman]

Really if you want to keep her in your life break up but stay friends and stay in contact. Then in the summer you can see where things will go.

 

[Erzengel]

She doesn't want any strings going into college because she wants to keep her options open. You only have been dating for like a month so it's not like it's that serious of a relationship at least to her. She's not really yours to lose.

 

[Herr Logan]

Pretty much everyone here is right-on about it being less painful and simpler to break it off right now. It's easier on both of you.
I'm gonna make it worse for you and tell you this:

I fell in love with a good female friend at the end of my senior year. We had a couple of "false starts" at a relationship over the summer and then she went to a college in Minnesota (I'm in Maryland). During the winter break of freshman year, we started something up for real this time, and though we both "knew" that long-distance relationships "don't work," we tried it. A few months later she wanted to break it off because it was very hard, but she changed her mind. We were long-distance for 2 and a half years when she came home and transferred to the school I went to.

We've been together for over 5 years now, are engaged and live together. We have a cat. Things were hard then and they're somewhat hard now (as serious relationships tend to be), but it was worth the struggle.

It's possible I gave you a glimmer of hope just now, and for that I am truly sorry.




P.S.: NYC isn't nearly as far from Pennsylvania as Minnesota is from Maryland. Certainly makes visiting easier.

 

[Erzengel]

Herr the only thing I want to add is the fact that if she does come back to him won't one of the reasons maybe that she "struck out" at college and is only going back to him as a second choice?

He shouldn't have to be that especially since she's the one forcing the break up because she thinks the grass is greener on the single side.