Relationship Help: (At least semi-serious, please)

[Herr Logan]

in the mean time, perhaps you should tell her that you two might as well make the most of you time together now and be realistic and mature about the future when your times comes to separate and go your separate ways. That way there is still some chance for you guys to be long distant friends that hook up when the time comes and so forth. you could go visit her, she could come and visit you, you could see each other in the holidays.


SAYING THIS HOWEVER, i personally think she may be using this as an excuse and don't be surprised if you hear her with another dude before you guys finish.

if two people have a good thing going on, they'll either keep it tight or keep it open when they leave and may hook up when they get back or whatever but a clean break usually isn't initiated in such a short relationship span.


if i were you, i'll be trying to see what i messed up with in recent weeks.

If that's the case, then he should break it off now.

You may not understand this, but a lot of people prefer not to put up with infidelity.



Seriously, Peacekeeper, if it seems at all likely that she may be looking for "greener pastures," then just break it off as soon as possible. I don't know you, but it's possible that you deserve better than that. But again, if you set yourself up for betrayal when you can see it coming, then you deserve that, too.

 

[Flame on!]

I've been going out with this girl for about a month, and everything was going great, and out of nowhere she tells me she wants to break up because she doesn't want a relationship right now, and never really wanted a boyfriend going into college (we're seniors; moving away in August). I can't let her just slip away. She says she's confused and doesn't know what she wants... she looked upset today in school... she said she doesnt wanna get attached and then have to leave for school (shes going to PA, I'm going to NYC).

I need to know what to say to her to keep her... any help would be sweetxcore.

Let her go. It is FACT that she will then jump into bed with the next man with a pulse who comes along within days of breaking up with you. Better now than in a few years time when it'll hurt more. I'm not saying she's a **** or anything, but it WILL happen. This is FACT. As sure as you are that the sun will rise in the morning, be even surer that when a girl says they don't want a boyfriend, what they mean is they don't want you. This is FACT, not fiction. Let her go.

 

[Erzengel]

I'm surprised by many of the responses here. But maybe it's just me.
1) They've only been dating for a month.
2) She doesn't want to be in a relationship going into college.

But the advice is
Let her go and she will come back to you, or friends with benefits? Either isn't fair to him because it's not what he wants and he shouldn't have to settle for anything less.

 

[Calvin]

I'm surprised by many of the responses here. But maybe it's just me.
1) They've only been dating for a month.
2) She doesn't want to be in a relationship going into college.

But the advice is
Let her go and she will come back to you, or friends with benefits? Either isn't fair to him because it's not what he wants and he shouldn't have to settle for anything less.

Well, if you mix those together, you get some pretty good advice. Let her go and find a friend with benefits.

 

[Odin's Lapdog]

If that's the case, then he should break it off now.

You may not understand this, but a lot of people prefer not to put up with infidelity.



Seriously, Peacekeeper, if it seems at all likely that she may be looking for "greener pastures," then just break it off as soon as possible. I don't know you, but it's possible that you deserve better than that. But again, if you set yourself up for betrayal when you can see it coming, then you deserve that, too.

oh i'm not sure if you misunderstood but i meant she may have broken things off because she may not want peacekeeper anymore and she's looking for an excuse perhaps.

not that she wants to try and cheat behind his back or anything.

 

[Erzengel]

Well, if you mix those together, you get some pretty good advice. Let her go and find a friend with benefits.

Heh.

But sadly Pk seems to want to do anything to keep their relationship alive.

 

[Calvin]

Might just further some animosity if she's not interested anymore.

 

[Erzengel]

Grass is greener on the single side and she wants to keep her options open and not be tied down by a "boyfriend". Have sex with her sister or best friend or both.

 

[Odin's Lapdog]

they move away in august and they are breaking up now?

i bet you any money she's just using it as an excuse.

peacekeeper, most likely everything wasn't going great before you split up, can you think of anything you may have done or not done that may have caused the rift.

 

[Herr Logan]

they move away in august and they are breaking up now?

i bet you any money she's just using it as an excuse.

peacekeeper, most likely everything wasn't going great before you split up, can you think of anything you may have done or not done that may have caused the rift.

Yes, Peacekeeper, do blame yourself for this.

If PK left something important out of the story, then that's something to explore. Otherwise, I don't think guilt and regret is a valuable way to spend your time. Some of us can't help it, but some people can, and unless someone has truly done something wrong, fostering those feelings and stirring up doubt seems a questionable course of action.

 

[Erzengel]

Maybe she's being smart about it. 1 month as opposed to 5 months being with someone. She knows if she gets too involved it'll be harder to break it off.

But then she shouldn't be in a relationship if she's thinking that far into breaking up with someone.

 

[Odin's Lapdog]

not necessarily guilt and regret, just coming to terms with what went wrong in order to make sure it doesn't happen in the future.

like if you fall a ledge in a game and die, next time you know that you need to watch your step around that part, that's all. i mean no one cares if they die in a game (unless they are miles from a save point but you get the idea).

constructive criticism

 

[Odin's Lapdog]

Maybe she's being smart about it. 1 month as opposed to 5 months being with someone. She knows if she gets too involved it'll be harder to break it off.

But then she shouldn't be in a relationship if she's thinking that far into breaking up with someone.

if one's intentions are to break up with someone eventually, i don't think any amount of time into the relationship will really have an influence on their decision.

it won't be harder to break off but harder for the other person to take...

what's the difference between five and six months at the end of the day when she started the relationship? One is still thinking it is the final year.


purely based on what peacekeeper said, i reckon she's bummed out on him and that's the least painful way to get the message across.

i bet she doesn't remain single for the next 5 months.

 

[Erzengel]

I don't think there's another guy and I don't think she will be in a relationship until she gets into college. I still think she just wants to keep her options open. I've seen this many times of high schoolers breaking it off with even longer term relationships because they wanted to be single when they entered college.

 

[Odin's Lapdog]

i don't fault that it's happened before, but so long before the actual time it happens...

what happened to carpe diem?

that's like me starting to do revision for an exam of a module i haven't even started to take yet.

her reasoning makes her sound like she's jumping the gun.


of the couple you've known, did they break up this much time before they left?

 

[Erzengel]

Some people don't share your carpe diem view of life like you do Odin.
Secondly you have to remember that these are young kids and impulsive behavior is pretty much not out of the question.
I've know of several. Some that went all the way up to right before they left for college some before the summer and some who just didn't want to get into relationships at all.

 

[Odin's Lapdog]

fair enough although it's a shame.

 

[Lackey]

She's selfish and she wants to ****e it up at college guilt free. 99% of women are b****es.

 

[Calvin]

I think Odin's got the most likely answer on this one, unfortunately for PK.