Thor caption thread

[Panthro]

Hulk: "Just chill out Je-sus!!
Thor: "What're you, trying to relate to me?!! Talk like a green man!!"
Hulk: "Alright Je-sus, jeez!!"
Thor: "Why do you keep calling me Je-sus? Do I look Puerto Rican to you?!!!"
Hulk: "No, but that guy back there called you Je-sus..."
Thor: "He didn't say Je-sus. He said 'Hey Zeus'."
Hulk: "Zeus????"

Thor: "Zeus!!! As in 'father of Apollo', 'Mount Olympas', don't f*** with me or I'll shove a lightning bolt up your ass! Zeu...er wait....that's not right."

 

[Panthro]

THOR: Hey, at least they didn´t put flames on me!

Bwahahahahaha

THOR: "Hey Cap, guess what! I just shaved a whole bunch of money on magic hammer insurance by switching Geico!"
CAPTAIN AMERICA: ""
THOR: "Geico's expanding its horizons. I'm sure they could get you some indestructible shield insurance as well."

THOR: "Why yes, I am Tyler Mane in disguise. Why do you ask?"

THOR: "Hey Cap, they just cast my actor in my new movie! They even got Loki too! Isn't that great?!"
CAPTAIN AMERICA: "Um, yeah..."
THOR: "I know, isn't it? I beat the Green Lantern casting! Say, how's your casting coming along? Any luck getting Aaron Eckhart?"
CAPT. AMERICA: ""

 

[Panthro]

ROBO-THOR: "By The Power of Cybertron!"

 

[Panthro]

ROBO-THOR: "Robo-Avengers! Transform & Roll Out!"

 

[Panthro]

RED HULK: "Admit it, Thor racist! Thor don't like Red Hulk because Red Hulk is Red!!!"
THOR: "I don't like you because you're gonna get me killed!"

THOR: "What is this, an attempt to top Red Kryptonite?!"
RED HULK: "Shut up!"

THOR: "Deny the God of Thunder an autograph will thou?!"
HULK: "For the last time, Hulk is not Lou Ferrigno!"

HULK: "Hulk Smash!"
WOLVERINE: "What did you do this time?!"
THOR: "Me?! You're the one who got his girlfriend drunk, photographed her in compromising positions & then sold them over the internet!"

THOR: "Beware the wrath of the sledge hammer!"

This one's not really a caption but I think it's funny -

 

[Panthro]

BATMAN: "The Band... The Band..."

UA THOR: "Do you see the Light?!"

BATMAN: "The Band!"

UA THOR: "Can you see the Light?!"

SUPERMAN: "What Light?"

UA THOR: "Have you seen the Light?!"

BATMAN: "Yes! Yes!! Jesus H. Tap Dancing Christ, I Have Seen The LIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT!!!" [starts dancing the Bat-Tusi]

 

[Panthro]

SUPERMAN: "Hello, my name is Superman, and I'm hiring you to be my personal trainer for my next animated series."

UA THOR: "Sigh. This is gonna take a while."

 

[Canis Sapiens]

THOR: "Deny the God of Thunder an autograph will thou?!"
HULK: "For the last time, Hulk is not Lou Ferrigno!"

HULK: "Hulk Smash!"
WOLVERINE: "What did you do this time?!"
THOR: "Me?! You're the one who got his girlfriend drunk, photographed her in compromising positions & then sold them over the internet!"

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Brilliant!!!!!!

 

[Panthro]

AMORA THE ENCHANTRESS: "Would you f*** me? I'd f*** me. I'd f*** me HARD."

TORUNN: "Santa Claus? Wow, you've lost a lot of weight."
THOR: ""

THOR: "C'mon, wake up, time to go see grandpa."

THOR: "Just click your heels together & whisper there's no place like home."

TORUNN: "Dad, will I ever be a part of the mainstream Marvel universe?"
THOR: "Probably not, but hey, they basically wished away Spider-Man's marriage so anything's possible."

TORUNN: "Dad, why did you abandon me to the care of Tony Stark, AKA: Iron Man?"
THOR: "So that you could learn the lesson that your grandfather King Odin tried to teach me - to appreciate & value humanity, honor, and unity."
TORUNN: "And I was supposed to learn all that from a drunken womanizing billionaire?"
THOR: "Look kid, I don't pretend that this stuff makes sense, okay? I just go with it & cash my paychecks."

TORUNN: "Um, Dad, I've been meaning to ask... is Sif really my biological mother?"
THOR: "Well of course she is. Why would you ever ask such a thing?"
TORUNN: "Well, I was just looking in the mirror, noticed a lack of resemblance to Sif, and started wondering - if Sif is my mom, why do I look so much like Amora the Enchantress?"
THOR: "Did it ever occur to you that you got your blonde hair from me?"
TORUNN: "That theory did present itself, but it also doesn't explain why lately I get these really ****ty impulses-"
THOR: "You're going through puberty girl. It's only natural that you would feel ****ty impulses. The point though is not to act on them, since I'm in no hurry to become a grandpa."

 

[Panthro]

Brilliant!!!!!!

Thanks!

SIF: "Oh Thor..."
THOR: "Oh Wonder Woman..."
SIF: "What the f***?!"
THOR: "Oh snap..."

THOR: "Oh Sif..."
SIF: "Oh He-Man..."
THOR: "What did you call me woman?!?!?!"
SIF: "Oops..."

 

[Panthro]

TORUNN: "Dad, why did you abandon me to the care of Tony Stark, AKA: Iron Man?"
THOR: "I had a 'Superman Returns' moment."
TORUNN: "Oh."

TORUNN: "Dad, Mr. Iron Man makes me feel really uncomfortable, even when he's sober."
THOR: "Why?"
TORUNN: "Well, this one day we were at the beach, I got out of the water, he came up to me and said 'Couple more years kiddo, you're gonna be one hot piece of...' I don't wanna say the last part."
THOR: "Hmm... Torunn, you did the right thing coming & telling me this. I'm going to have a word with Iron Man."

Later that week -

THOR: "Plotting to molest my daughter will ye? Feel the parental Wrath of the God of Thunder!"
IRON MAN: "Damn it, I knew I shouldn't have gone near that little minor..."

THOR: "Verily Sif, one true love of my life, I shall fight to the bitter end to ensure you a proper casting in my film - even if it costs me my life, I will not allow them to cast Natalie Portman, Jessica Alba or some other similarly unworthy actress as you."
SIF: "Aw, you're so sweet."

 

[Abstract]

Thor: Lead me to your shelves and I shall hang them for thee

 

[Venom'sDad]

AMORA THE ENCHANTRESS: Which one of you boys want me first?

HULK: "Hulk Wants You First!"

WOLVERINE: "You're going to have to wait in line Bub."

THOR: "BEHOLD... NO ONE SHOULD ENTER HER BEFORE THE MIGHTY THOR!
On second thought, Hulk maybe you should go first."

HULK: "YES... HULK WILL LOVE HER LONG TIME!"

WOLVERINE: "WHAT! ARE YOU NUTS! We would never be able to follow after.... THAT!"

THOR: "Look at her mouth, she has herpes."

WOLVERINE: "For heaven's sake Thor.... I have mutant healing powers."

THOR: "Hmmm, good point.... my bad."

WOLVERINE: <sigh> "Jesus Thor.... "

 

[ultimatefan]

Tons of gteat stuff, guys!

 

[ultimatefan]

AMORA: See, I make even the air horny!

 

[Panthro]

AMORA: "C'mon Thor, gimme some sugar baby! Goin' on 5 months now I ain't had nothing twixt my nethers that weren't run on batteries!"
THOR: "Oh God-! I can't know that!"
SOME GUY OFF SCREEN: "I could stand to hear a little bit more."

AMORA [thinking]: "Oh yes... oh yes... OH YES! Oh God it's like an orgasm in my mouth!"
THOR [thinking]: "Sif's gonna kill me. It'll be worth it, but Sif's still gonna kill me."

THOR [thinking]: "Must... remember... to use... protection... aw damn it..."

13 or so odd years later -

THOR: "Honey, for the last time Amora the Enchantress is not your biological mother! Your mother is Sif & only Sif!"
TORUNN: "All I said is that it wouldn't hurt to see a doctor and have a test done. I still like Sif & I'm happy to have her as a female role model, I just want to make sure."

 

[Panthro]

THOR: "It's 112 miles to Asgard, we've got a full tank of goat, half a flask of rum, it's dark, and we're wearing Lord of the Ring style costumes."
SIF: "Hit it."

 

[Spider-ManHero12]

AMORA: See, I make even the air horny!

Lol. t:

 

[Hotwire]

Thor: ...and that's what we call sex, honey. Why do you ask?
Toruun: Um, yeah, well, mom said to come and tell you dinner would be ready in a few secs, and I wasn't sure what she meant.

 

[Panthro]

IRON MAN: "You have nothing to threaten me with! Nothing to do with all your strength!"
THOR: "I'll tell everyone you were the master-mind who wrote, produced & cast that awful Halle Berry Catwoman in Name Only."
IRON MAN: "Y-you wouldn't dare!"

THOR [thinking]: "Must... not... **** my pants..."

 

[Panthro]

AMORA: "I wish I knew how to quit you."

later that day -

AMORA: "No I don't."

AMORA: "If loving me is wrong, you don't want to be right."

 

[ultimatefan]

Thanks Sidermanhero12

Great stuff all around, Panthro, Mal`akai.

BTW, just to be sure, does your login name come from the little guy who talks to Bender when he´s "God" in Futurama?

 

[Hotwire]

Thanks Sidermanhero12

Great stuff all around, Panthro, Mal`akai.

BTW, just to be sure, does your login name come from the little guy who talks to Bender when he´s "God" in Futurama?

Nope. I actually never really watched Futurama. Mal'Akai was a character I created years ago. Originally, he could create and manipulate anti-matter, but later I made him more powerful. He was blind, deaf, and mute, but his telepathic abilities allowed him to funtion as normal. He had a psychic radar, and his telepathic abilities told him what people were saying, and he projected his thoughts into their minds giving the illusion that has was speaking. I know it all sounds kind of unnecessary, but they helped him a lot.

 

[Hotwire]

Valkyrie: Green *****! Get the f*** out of my picture!

 

[ultimatefan]

Nope. I actually never really watched Futurama. Mal'Akai was a character I created years ago. Originally, he could create and manipulate anti-matter, but later I made him more powerful. He was blind, deaf, and mute, but his telepathic abilities allowed him to funtion as normal. He had a psychic radar, and his telepathic abilities told him what people were saying, and he projected his thoughts into their minds giving the illusion that has was speaking. I know it all sounds kind of unnecessary, but they helped him a lot.

Oh, okay. It´s just the name is the same.